“Most abusers simply want what they want and
will not be denied without unleashing a torrent
of phony martyrdom and vicious slander.”
By Thomas Sheridan – thomassheridanarts.com
When a psychopath goes to sleep they literally close their eyes and they are out. While the psychopath sleeps, they may as well be dead. However, if even gently approached during their Death Sleep, they instantly wake up — similar to a feral animal in the wild might do when they sense danger. When they wake up, it is instantaneous and they step out of their bed with no sign of fatigue or a sense of easing into the day — as a normal person would. It is akin to a machine literally switching on and off. Did you personally experience this?
Target A: “Switched off! Not a care in the world. Which I could not understand how someone did not even toss and turn when there were so many problems.”
Target B: “Used to talk in his sleep, often, but not all the time. Couldn’t really understand what he was saying. Didn’t think of it being another language, but anything possible with these things. I didn’t listen closely. Oh and if I woke him up, he would awaken as if he was in the middle of a tornado or something. Never woke up peacefully unless on his own. No matter how gentle I did it, either. I mean, jumping out of bed freaking out kind of shit. Like he was ready for a battle.”
Target C: “This is interesting. He would fall asleep in an instant, at anytime of the day. However, when he did go to sleep at night, it was intermittently broken up by his urge to smoke every 2-3 hours.”
Target D: “Death sleep. He would fall asleep instantly. Guess with having no conscience there are the benefits too!”
Target E: “It could fall asleep so easily, and I remember how it could jump up out of bed and be wide awake! I too found myself quite envious of this ‘ability’ as I struggle to fall asleep.”
Stonewalling consists of:
- Refusal to negotiate a conflict in good faith
- Refusal to discuss honestly one’s motivations
- Refusal to listen to another point of view with openness
- Refusal to compromise
- Refusal to collaborate
- Refusal to support the other person’s plans
- Refusal to accept influence
By Michael Samsel
“Psychopaths blame their victims for what happened
and consider the victims’ fate irrelevant.”
The mocking and controlling behavior of the psychopathic mind is motivated by a claim for submission. The submission brings them feelings of excitement consisting of a type of victory. They enjoy what they consider to be a game of destroying people. It’s amusing to them.
Don’t be fooled by nice manners. What looks like politeness can be pretense used to sugarcoat aggressive, manipulative, or false communication. Look at the content; not merely the cover. In other words; pay attention to what the person is saying, and don’t be fooled by who he is or how he is saying it.
See also It’s so easy to be fooled
Stonewalling or The Silent Treatment
Stonewallers, whether sociopaths or not, are seriously disturbed communicators. Their indifference to the stonewalled party’s experience, as noted, can be chilling. Their stonewalling often reflects character pathology, in which case they won’t change—they will always be stonewallers.
The Skilled Liar
Abusers tend to be comfortable lying, having years of practice (and no qualms,) and so can sound believable when making baseless statements. The abuser benefits when people feel too uncomfortable to ask a seemingly sincere, respectable person to substantiate a claim, or fail to look closely at evidence—if not ignore it—because of his charm or perceived authority. He also benefits when people believe that they can “just tell” who is lying and who is telling the truth, and so fail to adequately investigate.
Psychopaths never, repeat NEVER, take
personal responsibility for their behavior
—it’s always the fault of someone else.
“Nice and friendly”
is the persona of many con artists, abusers, paedophiles, and killers. Ted Bundy was handsome and educated. The number of young women he raped and killed has not been determined, but it may have been more than 200.
Ted Bundy was intelligent and charming.
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
How about, lack of empathy?
I don’t think so.
As an isolated factor, I don’t think lack of empathy best nails the sociopath.
Many millions of people, after all, lack empathy and aren’t sociopaths. Also, exactly what constitutes empathy is a subject of some disagreement. Some LoveFraud members, in fact, question whether sociopaths even lack empathy (some asserting, to the contrary, that the sociopaths they’ve known have used their capacity for empathy to exploit them).
But the biggest problem with lack of empathy is its weakness in explaining the single, truly best signifier of sociopathy—the characterological exploitiveness of the sociopath.
It is a high level of exploitiveness that most singularly exposes the sociopath.
Find out more:
Men who hate women
“Is he beyond a narcissist? Is he a sociopath or psychopath? Think we’re only talking about serial killers here? Psychopaths, sociopaths, and even narcissists come in every walk of life, every career level, and every socio-economic category. They are doctors, attorneys, ministers, students, and truck drivers. They are realtors, construction workers, and professors. They are your boss, your neighbor, your family member, and your lover or husband. You might even be with one now and not know.”
Read the victims’ personal accounts and notice the similarities between the psychopathic abusers that they describe!
“These people are at war with you. Don’t ever tell them your secrets or your insecurities. They will just use it against you to inflict more pain. It’s a harsh reality to accept, but some people really are that hostile towards the world that they really are out to emotionally hurt everyone and anyone. The people they are closest to are just their easiest victims.”
by George K. Simon
“…bear in mind you are dealing with highly skilled manipulators. They’ve had years and years of experience being covertly aggressive–do not underestimate their power. It happens so quickly, so subtly, you must arm yourself with tools to fight such monsters.”
“I have met a lot of people who have said something rude, did something in total disregard to my feelings and then gave lame excuses, no excuses or even tried to accuse me of being the bad guy afterwards. These manipulative people know what they’re doing, they don’t care, and they get a kick out of manipulating you.”
“These people are at war with you. Don’t ever tell them your secrets or your insecurities. They will just use it against you to inflict more pain.”
“For the first time in my life, I understand why I perceive people are “always taking advantage of me”. I’ve let them. Since I’ve been speaking up, I feel empowered and alive. This book saved my perspective, if not my life…”
“They look like us, but they are extremely smooth at decieving and come in many forms!”
Isn’t it amazing how sociopaths can run around smearing people, telling insidious lies with impunity….THEN……when WE try to warn others (with the TRUTH) about possible danger of the socio, it’s “Kill the Messenger” time….and we are the “Messenger”.
What’s up with that?
* * * * * * * * * * * *
What you are describing is the standard abuser protocol called DARVO, an acronym for Deny, Attack, Reverse roles of Victim and Offender.
Psychopaths are superficially charming. They lack delusions or other signs of irrational thinking and are free of nervousness and anxiety. In other words, they present an image of stability, confidence, and overall good “mental health” that can disarm even the most experienced judge of human character.
Omaima Aref Nelson, 24-year-old nanny and model.
Psychotic, psychopathic, or neither?
On Thanksgiving weekend 1991, Nelson bludgeoned pilot William Nelson, her much-older husband whom she married after a four-week courtship, in their Costa Mesa apartment.
Then she skinned the torso, cooked the decapitated head and fried the hands in oil. She was arrested after she stuffed some of her husband’s body parts into garbage bags and offered a friend $75,000 to help her with the disposal.
Omaima Nelson contended her husband beat and raped her regularly, and said she killed him after a particularly brutal assault. A psychologist testified that she suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder and said she was psychotic.
She was convicted of second-degree murder in January 1993 and sentenced to 28 years to life.
The background story: Omaima was born in Saudi Arabia. When she was just six years old, her father ordered her circumcision. She said she screamed and screamed until some older brothers had to tie her down for them to perform this terrible ceremony. She immigrated to the US and married the very cruel Mr. Nelson. Consummating her marriage was excruciatingly painful. As time went on, her husband’s drinking problem became worse and each time he would beat her and sexually assault her. The last time, the Saturday after Thanksgiving, she said she snapped and broke a glass lamp over his head that disabled him. The rest is history…
Pictured above: Omaima Aref Nelson in court in 1992. File Photo by Bruce Chambers, The Orange County Register
Since, in the majority of cases, people who indulge in abuse are selective about whom they abuse, other people are typically surprised—or in disbelief—when hearing that someone is experiencing on-going and periodic abuse from someone they know and have always seen as nice and friendly. “Nice and friendly” is the persona of many conmen, abusers, and killers. Although many folks really are as nice and friendly as they seem, some most definitly are not. Like Ted Bundy.
If most members of a group are honest and intelligent, then evil people will be identified and excluded. When most members have psychopathic traits, the honest and intelligent people are identified and excluded! In a psychopath-controlled environment, it’s the honest people who seem defective and deviant.
Brain scans of teens with a history of aggressive bullying behavior suggest that they may actually get pleasure out of seeing someone else in pain. While this may come as little surprise to those who have been victimized by bullies, it is not what the researchers expected.
The reason they were surprised is because the prevailing view is that these kids are cold and unemotional in their aggression.
“It is entirely possible their brains are lighting in the way they are because they experience seeing pain in others as exciting and fun and pleasurable,” said one researcher.
“We need to test that hypothesis more, but that is what it looks like,” he added.
- ‘Bully’, a must-see for teens (bostonglobe.com)
- Emotional bullying (salemwitchhunt.wordpress.com)
- Are You Immune to Bullying? Learn about Someone who Is. (standupagainstbullyingguy.wordpress.com)
- The Anatomy of a Bully (dearfriendsblog.wordpress.com)
- Mom Seeks Restraining Order Against Daughter’s 9-Year-Old Bully (dreamindemon.com)
- Bullying (neumannpsychology.wordpress.com)
- Bullying study findings (itv.com)
- Bullying Helps (momentmatters.wordpress.com)
According to Dr. Stout, author of The Sociopath Next Door
- Accept that some people have no conscience; that there are evil people in this world who do not act out of concern or love for another.
- Listen to your instincts — labels (professional roles) do not make a good person. Look carefully at someone who “carries” a professional label, judging whether that individual’s behavior fits what is expected of that professional role.
- Practice the rule of threes — One lie or broken promise may be a misunderstanding, two lies may involve a serious mistake, three lies — the individual is not trustworthy. Stay away from that individual.
- Question authority.
- Suspect flattery — when someone flatters you excessively, telling you how much they appreciate you or like it when you visit or how much they enjoy your conversations.
- Redefine your concept of respect — respect must be earned. Don’t automatically give respect to an individual because of her professional role or her relationship to you.
- Refuse to join the game — do not try to outsmart the sociopath. Do not reduce yourself to his level.
- Once you identify a sociopath, avoid him, refuse any kind of interaction. It is the only way to protect yourself.
- Question your tendency to pity too easily. Anyone who actively campaigns for your pity or consistently hurts others is likely a sociopath. Pity should be reserved for those who truly deserve it. Make sure the individual who seeks your help really needs it.
- Do not try to redeem the unredeemable. If you are dealing with someone without a conscience, you cannot change them, no matter how educated or loving you are. Sociopaths have no reason to change; they like who they are.
- Never agree to help a sociopath conceal her true character. You don’t owe the sociopath anything. Don’t believe that you are like her, no matter what she says. You are nothing like her.
- Defend your psyche. Humanity is not a failure. Being kind and loving and caring is the best way to live. It is the way most people live their lives.
- Living well is the best revenge.
- What not to read before bed (morvensblog.wordpress.com)
- Doc Bonn Explains: The Difference Between a Sociopath and a Psychopath (psychopathresistance.wordpress.com)
- Sociopaths and Psychopaths: Can They Be Cured? (phoenixsphere.com)
- Sociopaths R Us (lewrockwell.com)
- “Because most humans aren’t full-on sociopaths, alcohol and drugs are pretty much the only way…” (darkerme.com)
- Setting yourself up to be Judged (spreadinformation.wordpress.com)
- Why We Love Sociopaths (thelastpsychiatrist.com)
- Denzel Washington Studied Sociopaths for Safe House Role (shoppingblog.com)
- A Real Capacity for Evil (lewrockwell.com)
- Cape Fear (1991) (hesnersfilmcritiques.com)
- The Ascendence of Sociopaths in US Governance (theburningplatform.com)
“People who are preoccupied with validating a grandiose
Heterosexual women bear the brunt of narcissistic heterosexual men’s hostility, according to a 2010 study.
Narcissists’ lack of empathy, feelings of entitlement, and perceptions of being deprived of ‘deserved’ admiration and gratification can make them prone to aggression and vengeance.
The results from this study reveal that straight men’s narcissism is linked to an adversarial and angry stance toward straight women more than toward other groups. Although narcissists may want to maintain feelings of superiority and power over all people, narcissistic heterosexual men are particularly invested in subordinating heterosexual women because they are “gatekeepers in men’s quest for sexual pleasure, patriarchal power and status,” the study authors explain.
Another conclusion from the study is that male narcissists believe that heterosexual relationships should be patriarchal rather than egalitarian.
“When it comes to nature vs nurture I’ll say this:
A psychopath is born, a sociopath is created.”
It is well established by scientists that psychopaths are born without the capacity for empathy. The parts of the brain and certain connections that are responsible for giving us a conscience are different in psychopaths. Upbringing and childhood experiences will affect other aspects of an individual’s personality but they do not cause this disorder. A psychopath can come from a loving family and have had a good childhood. Ted Bundy is an example. For the rest of us, it’s very important to understand how they function and to know that they will not change, no matter how kind and tolerant we are towards them. If anything, they will take advantage of a well meaning person. They regard compassion as weakness. Many of us compensate for our feelings of inferiority in different ways. Psychopaths and narcissists are different. They genuinely believe that they are superior and entitled to special treatment.
Psychopaths dominate because most people are brainwashed to be victims. There occasionally are people with partial resistance. They are isolated and the psychopaths can easily discredit and remove them.
Suppose it’s two intelligent people A and B vs. one psychopath C. First, C will eliminate the smarter one, A, while sucking up to B. Once A is gone, then the psychopath will go after B.
It’s even worse if it’s two psychopaths vs. two intelligent people. The two psychopaths will cooperate, while the intelligent people won’t understand what’s going on.
Even if the psychopaths don’t have an explicit agreement, they will always cooperate to ruin an intelligent person asking questions.
I can nearly instantly identify psychopaths. Psychopaths can also do this. A psychopath can always instantly identify fellow psychopaths.
Psychopaths can always count on each other for cooperation, when an intelligent person starts asking dangerous questions. This creates a massive highly-coordinated evil conspiracy. Two psychopaths will always cooperate, when an intelligent person starts asking questions. Two psychopaths will always assist each other in their evil goals. They can count on their fellow psychopaths to return the favor later, even if there is no explicit quid pro quo agreement. In a very real sense, there’s a “psychopath code of ethics”.
Excerpt from: Two Kinds Of Psychopaths
Conformity offers many rewards.
Our need to belong makes us subconsciously open to influence by the values and beliefs communicated to us from marketing, propaganda, charismatic leaders—who may be psychopaths—and peers.
- Strong leaders and mental illness – a connection and a warning (liturgical.wordpress.com)
- Tips on How to be a Charismatic Leader (socyberty.com)
Basic manipulative strategy of a psychopath
Some psychopaths are opportunistic, aggressive predators who will take advantage of almost anyone they meet, while others are more patient, waiting for the perfect, innocent victim to cross their path. In each case, the psychopath is constantly sizing up the potential usefulness of an individual as a source of money, power, sex, or influence. Some psychopaths enjoy a challenge while others prey on people who are vulnerable. During the assessment phase, the psychopath is able to determine a potential victim’s weak points and will use those weak points to seduce.
2 Manipulation phase
Once the psychopath has identified a victim, the manipulation phase begins. During the manipulation phase, a psychopath may create a persona or mask, specifically designed to ‘work’ for his or her target. A psychopath will lie to gain the trust of their victim. Psychopaths’ lack of empathy and guilt allows them to lie with impunity; they do not see the value of telling the truth unless it will help get them what they want.
As interaction with the victim proceeds, the psychopath carefully assesses the victim’s persona. The victim’s persona gives the psychopath a picture of the traits and characteristics valued in the victim. The victim’s persona may also reveal, to an astute observer, insecurities or weaknesses the victim wishes to minimize or hide from view. As an ardent student of human behavior, the psychopath will then gently test the inner strengths and needs that are part of the victim’s private self and eventually build a personal relationship with the victim.
The persona of the psychopath—the “personality” the victim is bonding with—does not really exist. It is built on lies, carefully woven together to entrap the victim. It is a mask, one of many, custom-made by the psychopath to fit the victim’s particular psychological needs and expectations. The victimization is predatory in nature; it often leads to severe financial, physical or emotional harm for the individual. Healthy, real relationships are built on mutual respect and trust; they are based on sharing honest thoughts and feelings. The victim’s mistaken belief that the psychopathic bond has any of these characteristics is the reason it is so successful.
3 Abandonment phase
The abandonment phase begins when the psychopath decides that his or her victim is no longer useful. The psychopath abandons his or her victim and moves on to someone else. In the case of romantic relationships, a psychopath will usually seal a relationship with their next target before abandoning his or her current victim. Sometimes, the psychopath has three individuals on whom he or she is running game: the one who has been recently abandoned, who is being toyed with and kept in the picture in case the other two do not work out; the one who is currently being played and is about to be abandoned; and the third, who is being groomed by the psychopath, in anticipation of abandoning the current “mark”.
What happens if you dare to question the behavior of a narcissist…
explained on youtube.com