When compassion is a mistake

Posted on August 26, 2012 by Human

What our gut tells us a manipulator is like, challenges everything we’ve been taught to believe about human nature. We’ve been inundated with a psychology that has us seeing everybody, at least to some degree, as afraid, insecure or “hung-up.” So, while our gut tells us we’re dealing with a ruthless conniver, our head tells us they must be really frightened or wounded “underneath.” What’s more, most of us generally hate to think of ourselves as callous and insensitive people. We hesitate to make harsh or seemingly negative judgments about others. We want to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they don’t really harbor the malevolent intentions we suspect. We’re more apt to doubt and blame ourselves for daring to believe what our gut tells us about our manipulator’s character.

Psychopathy is the greatest obstacle…

Posted on May 5, 2012 by Human

Psychopathy is “the greatest obstacle in development of personality and social groups”. “The general inability to recognize the psychological type of such individuals [i.e. psychopaths] causes immense suffering, mass terror, violent oppression, genocide and the decay of civilization… As long as the suggestive [i.e. hypnotic, charming, “spellbinding”] power of the psychopaths is not confronted with facts and with moral and practical consequences of his doctrine, entire social groups may succumb to his demagogic appeal”.

Kazimierz Dabrowski (1902–1980)

Beyond Insanity – Political Ponerology – Macrosocial Evil (powersthatbeat.wordpress.com)
The Psychopath’s Poison Containers (phoenixsphere.com)
Playing Games in Prison May Reveal Roots of Psychopathy (prweb.com)
We are not the same. (psychopathresistance.wordpress.com)

13 Rules for dealing with a psycho/sociopath

Posted on April 24, 2012 by Human

According to Dr. Stout, author of The Sociopath Next Door

Accept that some people have no conscience; that there are evil people in this world who do not act out of concern or love for another.
Listen to your instincts — labels (professional roles) do not make a good person. Look carefully at someone who “carries” a professional label, judging whether that individual’s behavior fits what is expected of that professional role.
Practice the rule of threes — One lie or broken promise may be a misunderstanding, two lies may involve a serious mistake, three lies — the individual is not trustworthy. Stay away from that individual.
Question authority.
Suspect flattery — when someone flatters you excessively, telling you how much they appreciate you or like it when you visit or how much they enjoy your conversations.
Redefine your concept of respect — respect must be earned. Don’t automatically give respect to an individual because of her professional role or her relationship to you.
Refuse to join the game — do not try to outsmart the sociopath. Do not reduce yourself to his level.
Once you identify a sociopath, avoid him, refuse any kind of interaction. It is the only way to protect yourself.
Question your tendency to pity too easily. Anyone who actively campaigns for your pity or consistently hurts others is likely a sociopath. Pity should be reserved for those who truly deserve it. Make sure the individual who seeks your help really needs it.
Do not try to redeem the unredeemable. If you are dealing with someone without a conscience, you cannot change them, no matter how educated or loving you are. Sociopaths have no reason to change; they like who they are.
Never agree to help a sociopath conceal her true character. You don’t owe the sociopath anything. Don’t believe that you are like her, no matter what she says. You are nothing like her.
Defend your psyche. Humanity is not a failure. Being kind and loving and caring is the best way to live. It is the way most people live their lives.
Living well is the best revenge.