
Bernie Madoff was trusted and well liked. He ripped off whoever he could, even his old friends.
Since, in the majority of cases, people who indulge in abuse are selective about whom they abuse, other people are typically surprised—or in disbelief—when hearing that someone is experiencing on-going and periodic abuse from someone they know and have always seen as nice and friendly. “Nice and friendly” is the persona of many conmen, abusers, and killers. Although many folks really are as nice and friendly as they seem, some most definitly are not. Like Ted Bundy.
Unfortunately, it’s (I can only speak from my own experience) only seen when you are able to be close to the psychopath. If you are part of his immediate life outside of work, or areas of life that he needs to “fit in” to conceal his true self, you will be more apt to see the “real” individual. I chose not to use the term “person”, as they are not discernibly “human” in any sense more than 2 eyes, standing upright and able to mold themselves into any persona they choose.
In my experience, everyone believes my X is the gentleman, giver, selfless person…but when you are around him where he is most comfortable to be himself (at home) you will find that he’s controlling of everyone around his neighborhood, and no person (except the single women around him that he’s conning) likes him. Others see him as an “odd duck”, control freak, paranoid and a plain jerk.
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