“STOP portraying yourself as
a victim!”
Do people who say that believe there are no real victims? Or that there are victims but that they should be silent about their experiences? Maybe they believe that victimization is a ‘choice’ or that the victim must be partially responsible for the abuse—or even deserve it. Maybe they think that when people talk about their suffering or the mistreatment they have endured, they do it only to gain an advantage, such as attention or sympathy.
The pain and damage sociopaths cause, without remorse, needs to be taken seriously. Covert or emotional abuse is known to cause PTSD, wreck lives, and lead to fatalities. Laura19 writes on Lovefraud.com: “Excruciating emotional pain. Numbness. Loss of appetite. Sleepless nights. Obsessive thoughts. Inability to concentrate. Loss of pleasure in cherished activities. Lack of energy. Anxiety and panic attacks. All of the above will probably sound familiar to those of us who have been devalued and discarded…” Read about her remarkable path to recovery after surviving a relationship with a personality disordered person at lovefraud.com.
Related articles
- Emotional Abuse Is a Silent Killer (kellythompsonlive.com)
- Emotional abuse: How to recognize the signs (pinkandblack-magazine.com)
- To All Victims of Abuse… (secretangelps911.wordpress.com)
- Emotional Abuse and the Law (childhoodtraumarecovery.com)
- Emotional Abuse is more than just yelling (krishannah.wordpress.com)
- Verbal and Emotional Abuse – Dragging it into the light. (gaiamojo.wordpress.com)
- The dripping tap of emotional abuse in the Sociopath and Narcissist relationship (paularenee.wordpress.com)
- INDIRECT Abusers (sbstardust3.wordpress.com)
Psychopath Resistance 
When I first learned of my Ex’s deceit and betrayal, I couldn’t eat for a week. I dropped so much weight that even I became concerned. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t think straight. I couldn’t do anything except focus on the betrayal. I have been a long time follower of Paula’s Pontifications so I reached out to her via email and told her what had happened and what I had discovered. She immediately responded. We corresponded back and forth a few times over the the course of 2 days. And then, after a few days she was worried that I might be suffering from PSTD. She suggested therapy. I immediately took her advice and found a therapist, made an appt. and saw her a few days later. Now I see her every week, sometimes every 2 and therapy has helped me immensely. I’m over the shock and the betrayal, but I still harbor anger. I am working through the anger — but sadly it is a slow process.
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As you may realize, this blog post is a response to “nottt dumm’s” comment to an article by Paula on her blog; Sharing what is happening to us. Believing us. Why is it so hard to believe?. Moralizing commands such as “STOP PORTRAYING yourself as a victim.” annoy me because they are mindless regurgitations of much repeated slogans that poorly reflect reality, if at all, and frequently are used to invalidate the experiences of another person without any effort to understand. It doesn’t take two to tango.
Thank you for sharing your story! You are helping others, and yourself, I hope, by doing that. Best wishes for your recovery and a happy future!
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