See also: Denying, Discounting, and Dismissing Abuse
Dr. Sam Vaknin explains: “Even the victim’s relatives, friends, and colleagues are amenable to the considerable charm, persuasiveness, and manipulativeness of the abuser and to his impressive thespian skills.”
“In contrast, the victims are often on the verge of a nervous breakdown: harassed, unkempt, irritable, impatient, abrasive, and hysterical.”
Exactly what I’m going through right now. He has turned my family against me. He’s a genius. He did it so brilliantly, no one ever saw it. But me.
You are not alone. Tell your story! We are many who can relate.
Honey…my family of origin, husband’s family, all our neighbors and even ‘old friends’ hold me accountable…the victim is always vilified and forever punished. No one stands up for the victim.
I have been reading following phrase every time I find myself immersed in politics (Repubs/Koch brothers/whatever) “The poor can never be made to suffer enough.” And that applies to the victims of sociopaths/narcs/psychopaths.
My father and I were both victims of the same psychopath. (My mother died and my father married a psychopath). I saw my father deteriorate into a blithering wreck, while putting up a brave face to others and going along with her story that their life would be bliss, were it not for this horrible daughter (me). She turned him against me too, his only ally in life. I got bursaries and went to university. Still he persecuted me with her absurd accusations. She had convinced him that if I were a better person, she would be nicer to him and his life would be easier.
Yes, but times they are a-changing. Thanks to the Internet, victims are sharing their experiences, learning about psychopathy, recognizing psychopathic traits, realizing they are not alone, and becoming empowered. We can hold abusers in check, to some extent, by lowering our tolerance for abuse and exposing it.
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Knowing about the techniques that sociopaths and narcissists use gives us the ability to identify who the victim really is and who is the abuser. The more we become educated about sociopathy and narcissism, and the more of us who become savvy to these nefarious personalities, the less power the sociopath and the narcissistic has. So tell your story and hold your head up high. There are plenty of us around who believe YOU. We will never be misled again nor are we willing to condemn someone based upon a story.
We are a movement.
We will not be stopped.
Truth is on our side.
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My God you people make me cringe……..self diagnosing victims!