What is Bigotry?

Bigotry

In a grocery store checkout line, a young shopper allows this woman to go ahead of her. Watch the short youtube to hear what she said…



Bigotry

big·ot·ry noun
Intolerance toward those who hold different opinions from oneself.


Bigotry | Dictionary.com
noun, plural bigotries. 1. stubborn and complete intolerance of any creed, belief, or opinion that differs from one’s own. 2. the actions, beliefs, prejudices, etc., of a bigot.


bigot | Cambridge English Dictionary
bigot What is a bigot: a person who has strong, unreasonable ideas, esp. about race or religion, and who thinks anyone who does not have the same beliefs is wrong. Some of the townspeople are bigots who call foreigners terrible names.


bigotryCambridge English Dictionary
bigotry What is bigotry: strong, unreasonable ideas, esp. about race or religion: racial/religious bigotry

BigotsTW


bigotry | Vocabulary.com
If a person is intolerant of other ideas, races, or religions, we call that person a bigot. The intolerance expressed by that bigot is called bigotry. Bigotry is ugly.


bigot | Vocabulary.com
bigot. A bigot is someone who doesn’t tolerate people of different races or religions. If you have an uncle who is a bigot and tells racist jokes at Thanksgiving, …


bigotry | Oxford Dictionaries
Intolerance towards those who hold different opinions from oneself. 


bigotry (noun) definition and synonyms | Macmillan Dictionary
What is bigotry? The practice of having very strong and unreasonable opinions, especially about politics, race, or religion, and refusing to consider other people’s opinions.


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The Authoritarian Personality

Authoritarian, sociopathic, and narcissistic personality traits have many similarities.

authoritarian_personality

Research shows that authoritarians are far more likely to exhibit sloppy reasoning, highly compartmentalized beliefs, double standards, hypocrisy, self-blindness, a profound ethnocentrism, and—to top it all off—a ferocious dogmatism that makes it unlikely anyone could ever change their minds with evidence or logic.

autocraticleaders


Social Aggression


The term bullying typically refers to direct, confrontational attacks on another person. Social aggression, however, typically lacks direct confrontation and is often done covertly. It takes the form of spreading rumors, gossip, excluding one person from a group, verbal attacks, and cyberbullying. Studies have found that those who are socially aggressive typically use this form of bullying to protect their place among peers or place themselves above their peers.

imageIn the U.S. alone, over 100,000 students miss school every day due to indirect bullying. This type of bullying is often attributed solely to adolescents, though it is common among college students, in suburban neighborhoods, and workplaces. In adulthood, the most common form of this type of aggression is usually gossiping and spreading rumors. In general, the smaller the community, the more this issue occurs.


Relational aggression can have damaging effects on victims.


Adolescents who have been subjected to these types of attacks are more likely to develop depression and eating disorders. Relational aggression may also be responsible for a drop in academic performance and almost always harms a young adult’s social life. Among adults, this aggression can cause stress related physical disorders, limit job productivity, and greatly reduce self esteem.

The effects of social aggression often depend on the amount of support a victim has outside of school or work. Children with supportive parents, caregivers, other adult figures, or friends tend to handle this type of bullying better than those without this foundation. In severe cases, indirect bullying can be a catalyst for suicidal thoughts or actions; in some cases, it causes a victim to take his or her own life.

Due to the potential damaging and life altering affects of social aggression, especially for young adults, many schools have adopted zero tolerance policies for bullying. Teachers and parents are taught to recognize signs of social aggression in both the perpetrator and the victim. Abusers are typically punished and in extreme cases, may be suspended or expelled from school.

It amuses toxic people to see how much control they have over you.In the adult world, social aggression can be a form of entertainment for a personality disordered individual in a position of power over their target.


BullyOnce the crude schoolyard bully, they have become skilled at undercover ‘baiting and bashing’ tactics and avoiding accountability. Victims, chosen because of certain personality traits and vulnerabilities, may find themselves subject to a smear campaign and marginalized, gratifying the sadistic pleasure of a bully to no fault of their own.


See also:
Adult Bullies
Abusers operate on the sly.
Baiting & Bashing
Exposing the Bully
Bystanders and Bullying
Denying, Discounting, and Dismissing Abuse
Bullies Get a Kick out of Seeing Others in Pain


The Emperor’s New Clothes

EmperorTrump.png


emperors_new_clothes

To deal with sociopaths effectively, you first need to open your eyes. In The Emperor’s New Clothes by Hans Christian Anderson, two weavers promise the emperor a new suit of clothes that is invisible to those who are stupid and unfit for their positions.

When the emperor parades before his subjects, all the adults, not wishing to be seen in a negative light, pretend they can see the clothes. The only truthful person is a child who cries “But he isn’t wearing any clothes!”.

You, too, need to see sociopaths as they really are. We are conditioned to keep quiet, which often means turning a blind eye to or putting up with abuse.

The boy in the tale represents those who see the problem behavior for what it is and find the courage of their convictions to make a stand. Sight becomes insight, which turns into action. Awareness is the first step in limiting the negative effects of contact with a sociopath.

Via: Empathic people are natural targets for sociopaths—protect yourself—Science of the Spirit—Sott.net


EmperorTrump

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See also:


Recognize a Manipulator

via Be Aware of These 8 Signs Of A Manipulator.

This image is for illustrative purposes only. The pictured individuals have no actual connection to the article contents. 

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BY KRIS LEE

While we all are manipulative to some degree, manipulators engage in set behaviors on a regular basis. Manipulators use deceptive and underhanded tactics by exploiting another person for power, control, and privileges at the other person’s expense. They play on your good intentions, vulnerabilities, and weaknesses to get what they want.  Don’t be surprised if a manipulator is someone you trust or even love.

When someone is clearly wronging or hurting you and you are the one feeling bad and apologizing for their wrong doings, you are being manipulated. Manipulative behaviors are learned, most often in childhood. Thus, unfortunately it’s something that can’t be quickly unlearned. So, watch out for some common signs to spot them and once you do, pull them out of your life immediately. They are toxic weeds in your life.

Manipulation4

1. They are experts in playing mind games.

Some manipulators are highly skilled and their tactics are so subtle that it can control you for a long time before you finally figure out what’s happening. Skilled manipulators have a way of twisting a previous conversation or replaying it to suit their needs. They will do something to hurt you and when you express how you feel about it, they’ll turn the situation around, make you feel guilty and end up justifying their actions.

Does your partner say or do things that make you feel like you must be crazy and then tell you you’re making something out of nothing?  Obviously your partner twists the truth or leaves out certain information to make you doubt your own perception and sanity.

ManipulateBullshit

2. They have their best interests in mind, not yours.

They twist your thoughts and actions bit by bit until you look to them for guidance on everything. They mold you into someone who serves their own purposes. Sadly, you trust them more than you trust yourself. Their motives are almost always self-serving, and they have little interests in how you feel or how their behaviors impact you and your life.

They consistently point out your shortcomings, then show you that with their help, you can do better and become better. In that way they convince you that they have your best interests in mind, but the truth is they don’t.

3. They are emotional bullies and control freaks.

Manipulators need to be in control, and the desire for control often masks underlying feelings of their own insecurity. They need to feel superior and powerful. They have a deep narcissistic desire to shift the focus somehow to themselves and seek you out to validate them.

Virtuous EvilManipulators claim that they know how the world should be, how you should act and of course by their rules. They are virtuous and righteous. They are saints in their own minds, so you’d better agree. They know what’s best for you. Just ask them and they will give you advice and will make your life miserable if you don’t do what they say or utterly worship them. Besides, they are great debaters, so you never win.

4. They are irresponsible and inconsistent.

Manipulators have difficulty accepting responsibility for their behavior and it is always about what everyone else had done to them. If you call them on their behaviors, they’ll find a way to turn it around to make you feel bad or guilty. Manipulators may say yes to a request or make a small commitment to you, and then when the time comes to follow through, they conveniently forget what they said or deny the fact that they even promised.

Salem-Witch-Hunt---Blame-is-the-name-of-the-game

5. They blame you for their behaviors.

They blame you for what they’ve said, done, not said or not done. If you point out how they just turned the tables, they’ll most likely make you look selfish and pitiful. Thus, you can’t really prove anything so it’s your bad memory against their lying words. You begin to question yourself and even feel bad that you challenged them. Manipulators will never admit their wrong-doings when it puts them at a disadvantage. Instead, they’re always on the lookout for someone to blame, and here, alas, it’s you.

yourfaultIlie

Manipulators are good at keeping score so that one day they will blame you if things don’t work for them. They are willing to help but it always comes at a price. They remind you of that one time they helped you out and use it as a way to manipulate you into feeling like you owe them something.

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6. They are wolves in sheep’s clothing.

They attempt to establish intimacy by sharing their deep personal information that they make you believe they trust you and in turn, you trust them. You may initially perceive them as very sensitive, emotionally open and a bit vulnerable. You won’t suspect at all that you are being played. Since they are able to mirror your needs and desires perfectly, they are able to create the persona or mask of who you think they are, but it’s all an illusion.

itsagame

Manipulators want to listen to what you have to say in order to find out your strengths and weaknesses. Although it may feel like genuine interest and that they are good listeners, keep in mind that there may be a hidden agenda behind all this interest. They won’t hesitate to use all of these against you with an arsenal of effective manipulation tactics.

7. They have no desire in having authentic real communication.

Once again when you call them out on their behavior, more than likely, you’ll get a defensive and angry reaction rather than being direct and forthright communication. They usually sidestep honest communication and use passive aggressive methods instead. They try to intimidate you with aggressive language, subtle threats or outright anger, especially when they see you are uncomfortable with confrontation.

SincerityIf you try to have an open and honest conversation about moments when you feel hurt or invalidated, you will be shut down with allegations that you are being too sensitive, insecure, or over-reacting. They may pretend to be sweet and open-minded to your face, and while they might not hurt you directly, they will find subtle ways of undermining or belittling you.

8. They are afraid of vulnerability.

Manipulators seldom express their needs, desires, or true feelings. They seek out the vulnerabilities in others in order to take advantage of them for their own benefits and deflect their true motives. They have no ability to love, empathy, guilt, remorse, or conscience. To them, life is merely a game of taking power and control and getting what they want. They see vulnerability as a weakness and staying invulnerable is a great way to hide who they really are. So, if you don’t live up to their so-called standards and they are filled with contempt for you, it’s so easy for them to simply get up and move on.

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You may also like:
• 
15 Effective Ways Clever People Handle Toxic People
• 12 Signs You’re Loving One You Shouldn’t
• 23 Body Language Tricks That Make You Instantly Likeable

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Narcissistic Rage


narctoddlerrage

Rage

A raging narcissist displays the emotional maturity of a young child with a temper tantrum.

Rage

 

Read more:

Narcissistic Rage, Retaliation,
and The Smear Campaign.
 


Lack of Empathy

Sociopaths lack the capacity for empathy.

  • Sociopaths have a profound lack of empathy for the feelings of others.
    They lack the internal feedback system by which normal people monitor themselves. (Most people call this “conscience,” which is probably as useful a term as any.) Sociopaths do not have this and don’t feel bad about abusing other people. It’s not that they feel bad and ignore it—they don’t feel it at all.true-empathy
  • Sociopaths understand that they are different from normal people and learn to mimic normal behavior. This mimicry has a purpose: It gets the sociopath what he or she wants.FakeFeelings
  • The sociopath hides his or her difference. After letting it show a time or two—and probably being punished by a parent as a result—the sociopath covers up the truth and keeps it covered. But the reason for hiding it is not embarrassment (the sociopath doesn’t feel embarrassment), but because it hinders him from getting what he want.
  • Since sociopaths have no empathy for others, making use of normal people feels just fine to them. Likewise, they feel no remorse.insincerity
  • Empathy, as viewed by the sociopath, is a weakness, and he considers himself superior because he isn’t burdened by it.LackEmpathy
  • Because they lack an internal feedback system, sociopaths are excellent liars. For example, they can often pass lie detector tests, since those tests register the effects of our internal feedback system, which they don’t have.PsychoLiars
  • A sociopath is likely to maintain a group of people who believe wholeheartedly that he is a good, kind, honest person. He’ll work in calculated ways to create and maintain that opinion in them.fooled

From They Walk Among Us by Paul Rosenberg


Sense of Entitlement


A sense of entitlement is one of the characteristics of antisocial and narcissistic personality disorders and a natural extension of grandiosity; considering oneself superior to others. It can be revealed in the reasons they give to why they have the right to something they want, in their expectations of others to supply what they want, or in their fury when they don’t get what they want.

Donald Trump provides an illustration:

trumpentitlement
[click for YouTube]


See also:
Sense of Entitlement
Grandiosity
ASPD / NPD
The Emperor’s New Clothes

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Twisting of Meanings and Verbal Traps

Cover of Verbal Behavior by B.F.Skinner verbalabuse “Twisting of meanings is a clue to psychopathy. They’re masters of doublespeak*, creating verbal traps and impossible situations that leave non-psychopaths bewildered.”

 
Harrison Koehli Red Pill Press,
Publisher of Political Ponerology
 
*Doublespeak = Evasive, ambiguous language
that is intended to deceive or confuse.

Spin, Projection, and Blame Shifting

They Spin our Reality  

The Projectionist

The Projectionist
by Eric Fan

Disordered people can’t deal with the reality of their behaviors. On some level they may realize how hurtful they are or how inappropriately they behave, yet they are unable to accept any kind of major flaw in themselves. So disordered abusers spin our reality to protect their delusions.

Projection, a commonly used defense mechanism, serves that purpose. In projection, a characteristic of themselves that they find unacceptable is projected onto us. The most frequently projected characteristic is mental illness or disorder. “I’m not a sociopath. You’re the [crazy, irrational, mentally disturbed, narcissistic, etc.] one.”

Another common defense mechanism is blame shifting. “It’s your fault this happened because [fill in the blank].” Their rationalizations can be elaborate and far-fetched but their convictions are firm. Attempting to disprove them will get you nowhere, or worse, confirm your guilt in their eyes. Bystanders, who cannot fathom that someone they like and respect would deviously craft a convincing blame shifting scheme or be making it all up, are easily won over by the sociopath.

The Office


How evil are you?

(Credit: Adam Proctor)Artwork: Adam Proctor

From BBC Future, 3 December 2015
By David Robson

Do you have a ruthless streak? Psychologists believe the “dark triad” of personality—Machiavellianism, narcissism and psychopathy—might help you succeed in life. To measure your own dark side, click on the link below and choose how much you agree or disagree with 9 simple statements—and we’ll tell you how dastardly you actually are.

The questions for this quiz were inspired by questionnaires developed by Delroy Paulhus and Daniel Jones (Assessment, vol 21, p 28). Our quiz was designed solely for entertainment, and the results should not be considered a scientific measure of your personality. If you would like to learn more about Paulhus’s personality research and his serious explorations of the dark triad, read the BBC profile “The man who studies everyday evil”.

How evil are you?

BBC – Future – How dark is your personality?


Toxic People: 16 Practical, Powerful Ways to Deal With Them

dealing with toxic people

Posted July 6, 2015 by Karen Young at Hey Sigmund:

Even if toxic people came with a warning tattooed on their skin, they might still be difficult to avoid. We can always decide who we allow close to us but it’s not always that easy to cut out the toxics from other parts of our lives. They might be colleagues, bosses, in-laws, step-someones, family, co-parents … and the list goes on.

We live our lives in groups and unless we’re willing to go it alone – work alone, live alone, be alone (which is sometimes tempting, but comes with its own costs) – we’re going to cross paths with those we would rather cross out.

Continue reading the article for some powerful, practical ways to ease co-existence with toxics:

Toxic People: 16 Practical, Powerful Ways to Deal With Them

toxic people


Sociopaths twist words, manipulate, and deflect…

…and they’re good at it.


Originally posted on Dating a Sociopath:

The sociopath uses a number of tools to manipulate.

The sociopath uses a number of tools to manipulate.

If you spend enough time around the sociopath, his Mr Nice, Mr Helpful, and Mr Wonderful personas wear off. Once he has his slippers firmly under your table, hand in the fridge, and the warm half of your bed, a totally different character begins to appear. To cope with this, you need mental agility, for the sociopath is the master game player. And what he intends to do is play a game with your life. You will be left feeling absolutely confused.

Deflection3What is deflection? Deflection takes focus away from the accusation. To use an example, if you had concerns that your partner was cheating, perhaps you have evidence that he is having an affair? You confront your partner, holding the evidence, and you are fairly sure that you now have him cornered… Or so you think!

Evidence, means little…

Read original 850 more words:

Sociopaths twist words, manipulate, and deflect.

twisting your words

BraikerRelated articles on Psychopath Resistance:


Accountability and Blame-Shifting

abuser claims to be victimaccountability
victim blaming

thenarcissistinyourlife.comSee also:


“Ain’t it awful.”

group dynamics

It’s important to understand that people on the narcissistic spectrum simply do not tolerate criticism, difference of opinion, or when certain others don’t subordinate and show the reverence they feel entitled to. These personality disordered individuals can be bullies who aspire to positions of power and influence from where they can control others, penalize those they feel offended by, and use their thespian talents to attract admirers and supporters. Some members of this flock are eager to take action against anyone who annoys the central figure. With a coveted position in the inner circle as a contributing motivator, they see an opportunity to act out aggression with a show of ‘moral righteousness’ that will secure the leader’s approval and a rise in the group’s esteem.

Many human problems are difficult to address effectively without insights into group dynamics and the significant roles often played by the personality disordered. On their own, complaints about the values, policies, and behaviors of others, including statements about how they ‘should’ be or act, just don’t broaden our understanding, lead to change, or offer any viable method to improve the human condition.

Psychopath killerComment from: Defending Allies and Avoiding Hypocrisy | Atheist Revolution



Everything happens for a reason…

nothing you can say or do will make him change

Don’t beat yourself up trying to figure out what you did wrong or what you should have done differently. Abusers target good people. Sometimes, it’s really that simple.

Everything happens for a reason

See also:
Empaths are Targets
The Sociopath-Empath-Apath Triad
The Relationship Between Empaths and Narcissists


The Narcissism Test—What’s Your Score?

By Dr. Craig Malkin
Author, Clinical Psychologist, Instructor Harvard Medical School
Posted: 07/13/2015, Updated: 07/14/2015

Narcissism is hot. Which should make narcissists very happy.

But it’s also widely—and wildly—misunderstood, due in large part to widespread caricatures of narcissists, who are invariably depicted as vain, primping braggarts.

The problem is that many narcissists, particularly the more introverted ones, who pride themselves not on looks, but on being sensitive and misunderstood, couldn’t give a fig about fame or money. You might not even realize you’ve met one. And people end up falling unhappily in love with quieter narcissists, confused by their fate, because their distress stems from a brand of unhealthy narcissism they never knew existed. To date, in fact, there are three kinds of narcissism, which I describe in Rethinking Narcissism: The Bad—And Surprising Good—About Feeling Special. We may start finding more.

Then there’s the problem of that pesky qualifier, unhealthy.

Many would object, saying that narcissism is inherently unhealthy. And certainly the most popular narcissism assessment to date, the Narcissistic Personality Inventory (NPI), assumes that all narcissism is bad; each and every point you score on the test inches you closer to being branded a “narcissist.” The problem is even the NPI picks up healthy components of narcissism; there’s hard evidence that one piece of the inventory, which captures extroverted leaders more than disagreeable blowhards, is associated with being a happy, healthy, if somewhat more ambitious human being.

So to summarize: three kinds of narcissism; healthy and unhealthy narcissism; and a bunch of measures that capture arrogance and grandiosity of various kinds—one of which accidentally captures healthy narcissism.

Read the full article:
The Narcissism Test—What’s Your Score? | Dr. Craig Malkin.


The Relationship Between Empaths and Narcissists

August 22, 2010 · by Lorna Tedder ·

Real empaths feel too much.  Real narcissists don’t seem to feel anything, or at least not in regard to others’ feelings.  Showing your vulnerable side to a narcissist in an attempt to explain how his or her behavior might be hurtful will just invite more abuse.

Whereas the narcissist doesn’t connect well or much with others, the empath connects too much. The empath literally feels what someone else feels, whether it’s strong emotion or physical pain.

Continue reading The Relationship between Empaths and Narcissists.


See also:


Manipulation—Read All About It!

Manipulation is a way to covertly influence someone with indirect, deceptive, or abusive tactics. Manipulation may seem benign or even friendly or flattering, as if the person has your highest concern in mind, but in reality it’s to achieve an ulterior motive.

Favorite weapons of manipulators are: guilt, complaining, comparing, lying, denying (including excuses and rationalizations), feigning ignorance, or innocence (the “Who me?” defense), blame, bribery, undermining, mind games, assumptions, “foot-in-the-door,” reversals, emotional blackmail, evasiveness, forgetting, fake concern, sympathy, apologies, flattery, and gifts and favors.

Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT
How to Spot Manipulation, whatiscodependency.com


Manipulation

eBook (PDF) 287 pages
Price: $3.89
Unlike people who are trying to influence others, manipulators work with unfair means to get what they want. They do not respect the personal rights of their victims. They work with hidden agendas and deliberately use dishonest tricks like faulty reasoning, coercion, blackmail, and lying as they attempt to assert control. Manipulation is about suiting the manipulator’s advantage or purpose only, often at the expense of others. 

It’s often difficult to recognize manipulation. After all, would we allow ourselves to be manipulated if we are aware that it is happening? This book explains the tricks manipulators use and teaches you how to best defend and protect yourself.

Manipulation: Handbook of Social and Psychological Manipulation
By Dean Amory
Available in PDF Format


People who suffer from low self-esteem are at risk of getting stuck in relationships where they’re being controlled; becoming the unwitting targets of individuals with personality disorders that propel them to behave in a manipulative way.

Manipulation: How to Recognize and Outwit Emotional Manipulation and Mind Control in Your Relationships
By Sarah Nielsen


Being manipulated is a highly stressful experience. It is unpleasant, demeaning, and disturbing.

Every time you comply, capitulate, cave in, or otherwise satisfy your manipulator’s wishes and purposes, you reinforce the toxic cycle that is compromising your self-esteem, co-opting your values, and corroding your emotional wiring.

This book was written for people who are targeted, exploited, and controlled by manipulators.

Who’s Pulling Your Strings? How to Break the Cycle of Manipulation and Regain Control of Your Life
by Harriet BraikerScreenshot 2015-06-14 16.38.56115 customer reviews
See also the author’s website: DiseaseToPlease.com


See also: Manipulation Tactics


Narcissist or Sociopath?

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Which witch is which?

By  02/23/2015

Deciphering the Narcissist from the Sociopath is some tricky business because they are practically identical. The two biggies that set them apart are the disordereds’ motives and levels of self-awareness. In other words, you’d have to get the N/S to be open and forthcoming about the inner workings of his mind. As always, you can count out the Narc or Socio for assistance. Unless you crack their heads open like coconuts and unravel the twisted little rats nests that dwell within, that ain’t happening.  Continue reading this article…

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Common Types of Manipulation

Dr George Simon [blog], author of several best-selling books on psychopathy, has given descriptive labels to three manipulative tactics that all victims of narcissistic/psychopathic abuse are sure to recognize. The terminology offered by Dr Simon makes it easier to make sense of behaviors that otherwise may seem confusing or even cause self-doubt, and to discuss them. When you see manipulative behavior, it will probably reflect one or more of these tactics.

Manipulation

See more blog posts relating to Dr. George Simon:


You are a tool.

narcsoc

hammerAnna Valerious:

To really get a sense for how the narcissist perceives you, you will need to picture a tool. Let’s say a hammer. The hammer has no will of its own. The hammer’s value is in how it serves you. When you pick up the hammer it is like an extension of your hand. We are able to use it without regard for how it must feel when we whack a nail with it. Of course, because it has no feelings. We don’t have to think about the hammer, we simply use it to our own ends and then set it down and walk away when it has performed the function we wanted it for.

You are that hammer to the narcissist. All of us are merely tools made for their use. Extensions of themselves. We are like a table or chair or bookcase or toilet paper.

The narcissist will become enraged if such inanimate tools decide to sprout a mind of their own and not perform and conform perfectly to their will. It is perceived as an attack! The default setting in the mind of the narcissist toward the rest of humanity is that we are not worth anything except as they imbue value in us. Then we are worth something, but only as much as the narcissist decides. We can be completely devalued in a moment and thrown out with the rest of the garbage.

http://narcissists-suck.blogspot.com


Flying Monkeys

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The sociopath is a high level con who manages to dupe people so thoroughly that his/her fans will persecute, silence, and ostracize a victim who complains about mistreatment. These people are in denial and they will reject information that doesn’t correspond to their highly favorable perception of the sociopath. The victim’s accounts of abuse will upset them, and may anger them. By defending an influential sociopath and abusing his/her target by proxy, the followers prove their loyalty and hope to win favor while getting closer to the influential sociopath they are instinctively attracted to.

See also:
Denying, Discounting, and Dismissing Abuse
Denial and DARVO

Cognitive Dissonance

Gail Meyers writes:

A narcissistic personality disordered mother has flying monkeys. This is a term taken from The Wizard of Oz, where the flying monkeys do the bidding of the Wicked Witch.  The flying monkeys may be your neighbor, church members, siblings, aunts, uncles, grandmother, grandfather, nieces, nephews, etc. These people do the narcissist’s dirty work and often pour their own abuse on the scapegoat.

cautionflyingmonkeysI spent years of my life trying to show various flying monkeys the truth. It virtually never worked, not once in the twenty or so years I kept trying to “clear the air” or to finally be understood. They do not understand because they do not want to understand. Many are willfully ignorant and blind to the situation.  There is not some magical phrase and method you have not yet discovered that is suddenly going to cause these people to stand up for the truth.flying-monkeys-sign

What I have realized is the flying monkeys generally have their own reasons for behaving the way they do. Some may truly do it out of ignorance, truly fooled for years by the narcissist. However, it is my experience that most flying monkeys have weak characters.

Continue reading…


Once a flying monkey, always a flying monkey…

FlyingMonkey

“These are people that are clueless when it comes to recognizing the difference between something genuine and something totally fake and unworthy.”


Madeline Scribes

dorothy red slippers

Dorothy: Lions, and tigers, and bears! Oh, my!

I was reading a status update on Facebook from my new friend Martha. She wrote that the “flying monkeys” at work were starting to be nicer to her, probably because the Narc was either losing her grip on them, or had moved on to another victim. They had been shyly asking for her help and gravitating towards her for some time and she was still avoiding them at all costs. She’s a smart lady. She knows, just like I know, that once you’re a flying monkey, you’re always going to be a flying monkey.

Flying monkeys never change.

Scarecrow: First they (the Flying Monkeys) took my legs off and they threw them over there! Then they took my chest out and they threw it over there!

Tin Woodsman: Well, that’s you all over!

Flying monkey is just another…

View original post 456 more words

The “Virtuous” Sociopath

sociopathappearance


See also:


Retaliation

Retaliation2

When deprived of narcissistic supply, narcissists experience symptoms similar to the withdrawal symptoms of a drug addict; becoming delusional, agitated, helpless, and emotionally unhinged. They disintegrate and crumble, and may even experience a psychotic episode. They engage in “magical thinking;” believing that they are omniscient, omnipotent, and that they cannot fail. This makes them fearless and relentless in their pursuit of revenge.


See also:
Vindictiveness
Narcissistic Supply (Wikipedia))
Narcissistic Supply (The Narcissistic Life)
Narcissistic Supply (Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers)
Narcissists, Narcissistic Supply and Sources of Supply (Sam Vaknin)