Exposing an Abuser

Stand up yourstory complicity

So, you are fed up being abused and you want to take action.
Don’t do anything hasty! But do start a free blog!


Choose A Blogging Platform

At the bottom of this page, you’ll find a comparison of the top free blogging platforms with details of their pros and cons: WordPress, Blogger, Tumblr, Wix, Weebly, and Squarespace. If, after reviewing the comparison chart, you decide that WordPress is the best platform for your needs, check out this tutorial to start your own free blog.

yourstory DontSuffer


If you or someone you know is in suicidal crisis or emotional distress please call:

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
1-800-273-TALK (8255)

The call is free and available 24-hours.
Your call will be routed to the nearest crisis center to you.


Legal and Moral Considerations

Can I be sued if I publish the name of an abuser? No, as long as you stick to the truth. The media does it all the time, and they certainly have the money to make them worth suing. To keep on the safe side, publish only what you can back up with evidence.

Isn’t it wrong to expose someone by name even if they did cause harm? If you are asking this question, you should also ask yourself if it is ‘right’ for an abuser to get away with hurting you and then continuing on to the next unsuspecting victim. Is it ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ to protect an abuser from consequences for their actions by concealing their identity?

courageYou are not at fault if the truth about an abuser’s behavior damages their reputation. From a bully’s remorseless egocentric point of view and sense of entitlement; everything is your fault. Victim blaming is a given in any bullying scenario so you can count on being put on the defensive and accused of slander and libel if you expose your abuser. They may be scary in their fervor and denial; they play the victim role and act out self righteous indignation, hurl accusations, and vilify you, their target, while manipulating other people to turn against you and support their vengeful schemes. It’s all a game to them; one they enjoy and excel at. But they just don’t have a legal case if their reputation suffers because their malicious activities become known.

No one has the right to abuse you, and you always have the right to defend yourself and to speak about what was done to you, but it is up to you to decide what actions to take. You’ll need to examine all aspects of your situation. It helps to educate yourself about psychopathy and libel laws. Reading about cases similar to your own may give you useful ideas—or crucial warnings. You may find that you must weigh your moral position against the cost of asserting it, and also, consider the possibility of your abuser thriving on the attention while making your position worse. Sociopaths are highly skilled at achieving that! It is vital to consider all possible consequences of ‘going public,’ especially potential dangers to your life and well being.

Defamation, Libel, Slander

Defamation is an area of law that provides a civil remedy when someone’s words end up causing harm to your reputation or your livelihood. Libel is a written or published defamatory statement, while slander is defamation that is spoken by the defendant. Learn what you need to prove if you’re bringing a defamation lawsuit, and what to expect at each step of your case, including common defenses to a defamation claim. 


Read more

Articles on Defamation Law

Tools for Your Defamation Claim



4 thoughts on “Exposing an Abuser

  1. Strongly agree and Thank you for you for the encouragement. In spite of possible adverse consequences you’re mentioning, still – exposing your perpetrator, sometimes, is only an option. Especially, when your abuser won’t leave you alone years after divorce, with life long dedication to sabotage everything in your life.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Thank you so much for this article I just came upon! I always think who the heck would read a blog I wrote, and there are so many on this topic… but I think it might be therapeutic for me. I write endless letter to the psychopath/NPD (which I don’t send), however; why not take all that energy and write to “a blog”.. thereby, getting the release I need, and further joining the cause I agree with. I have been even told by professionals, “don’t tell people about the abuser, it just makes you look bad”, as they have been making you look like the crazy, vindictive one. So, we suffer in silence, while they happily parade how “caring” and wonderful they are all over social media.

    I say bullocks. This is crazy. Expose the ‘arseholes. Secrecy enables them. In my case no one will likely, he will never likely even see anything I write; but I will feel less powerless, like less of a victim. They no doubt are engaging in smear campaigns against us, and I have no way to “fight back”. I don’t thing getting hung up on exposing them forever would be healthy, but I think it could be a positive step in the recovery process.

    And, If I can help ONE person.. escape sooner rather than later from what will become a living hell. At least some good can come of it.

    Also, as far as “suing”… anything anyone posts on social media is public fodder. I see nothing unethical, for example; in using a social media post as an example of some of the tactics used.

    Thank you, really, thank you. I have no idea how to structure anything or even my goal…I just know that writing is helpful for me.. and sharing any of my thoughts with psycho-narc is useless and harmful to me. Doing “nothing” is hard. Thank you for encouraging others to speak out. It is truly other people’s stories that have been helping me… validating my experience. What is really amazing is how similar other’s experiences are! It is like they all read the same handbook! Most tactics are so common they even have names, I am learning, i.e DARVO. So, it is NOT me. It is NOT me.. this is a personality disordered person doing what they predictably WILL do. And the only way to prevent it, is to educate yourself, learn the signs, and run as soon as you suspect you are dealing with a psycopath/NPD.

    I realize this was long.. but I agree, the world, particular the legal and LE systems need education about these people. (unfortunately these are full of them, making it a challenge).

    Liked by 2 people

  3. You raise the important points related to exposing a destructive narcopath partner and you express yourself exceptionally well. Please let me know when your blog is set up so I can follow it! You are welcome to use material on this site, and contribute to it if you wish.

    Good luck and stay strong!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Jeffrey Phillips from Winnetka- Illinois, United States is a psychopath, he lives in Washington D.C.. he is a danger for the community.

    Liked by 1 person

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