Narcissistic Personality Disorder

NarcChecklistA narcissist has many of these traits.

perfectperson

Modern permissiveness and a culture of entitlement allow
disturbed people to reach adulthood without proper socialization.

 

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)

It is believed that narcissism is an attitude which is present in every individual and is actually important to be confident individuals. However, when this feeling of self worth exceeds certain limits, where one cannot see anyone other than oneself, one is said to have narcissistic personality disorder. Anger is a natural reaction that comes to humans when exposed to a provocative situation. Such anger arises from a rational cause and dies down when one is able to express it.

Narcissistic rage is different from the anger that people usually feel. People who have narcissistic personality disorder need narcissistic supply which includes constant adulation, attention, compliments and subservience. They consider themselves to be perfectionists and want people to fear and respect them, whether they do or do not have any accomplishments of their own. As narcissistic people are dependent on other people to boost their self-esteem, any challenge, negative remark or disagreement from other people can be considered as criticism, rejection and mockery. They take it as a personal assault and lash out at the person who provoked them. This can cause physical as well as psychological harm to the other person. Read more on narcissistic behavior.

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Narcissistic Rage

Larry

Narcissists never admit responsibility and will always blame their targets.

The term narcissistic rage was introduced by Heinz Kohut in his book The Analysis of the Self: A Systematic Approach to the Psychoanalytic Treatment of Narcissistic Personality Disorders.
As narcissists believe that they are perfect individuals who know everything and who can never be wrong, the thought that somebody is challenging their views or behavior can cause rage in them. This rage can be expressed in two ways. The most obvious way is explosive behavior where the person will lash out at the other person, both verbally as well as physically. Sometimes, too much rage can give rise to murderous thoughts in the narcissistic individuals. The other way of expressing their rage is the passive aggressive behavior where the person will not harm the person physically or mentally, but will punish them by giving silent treatment. However, the rage is not just targeted towards the person who provoked them, but also towards other innocent people.

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85 thoughts on “Narcissistic Personality Disorder”

  2. I am married to a narassist dentist. He went into a rage last night and started throwing things. I called 911. He left and slept in his office. He is like a leach. Never pays for anything. I buy everything . Never has even once put gas in my car. The house I keep up. Have spent money to repair and replace everything, He spends money
    But borrows from the bank or puts on a credit card, I think he is sadistic because he had 4 of my good teeth pulled. He has turned my daughter against me. We have been married 26 years. I guess I must be the most naive person in the world.

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    • Dearest Emotional Addict…. you are addicted to him no differently than a drug addict to their choice of drug. It is been proven that literally in your brain you suffer the exact same addiction (chemical alterations) and therefore the thought of leaving is so fearful to you. It is withdrawal! But just like a drug addict there is hope and you’re severely damaged emotional and mental state can be repaired. It will take a great deal of determination and stamina on your part to gi cold turkey! But there is NO OTHER WAY. Do your research about the Narcissist Personality Disorder (NPD) and how to recover from that abuse. There is hope. After 20yrs of marriage…..I have done it! And you can too.

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      • Omg this is my father,now it all makes sense,he destroyed my childhood and life and my mothers life up to day she died and still has no remorse,at 70 he still the very same liar he always was,but others think he is a saint and had a hard life but he is actually really the devil and had an easy life and made our life hell.

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    • You aren’t naive. You have been charmed, used and abused. (Me too). You need educate yourself on narcissism, narcissistic abuse (you will see it all the time!) and have no contact with him. Be really careful who you talk to. He will play the victim to your family & friends. He will do EVERYTHING to look the victim. He’ll cry, apologise, do anything & everything to get in contact with you, do anything & everything to get back at you. He’ll use the child to hurt you!
      He doesn’t love people. He controls them. He’ll move on to another victim very quickly! And all the stuff he did on you. He’ll do on her!
      Good luck xxxx

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    • Leave him immediately!! As a human being you deserve what you deserve and it’s not that!!! He’s an irresponsible nut job!! It’s not worth it. Stand up for yourself , pack a bag for him when he leaves and change the locks, file for divorce and get a restraining order !

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    • I’ve been married to a Narcissist for 23 years, known him for 30. I’ve been trying for years to fathom out why I was not allowed to discuss our relationship or sex. Why I was not allowed to raise my voice; WHY WHY WHY? Then I decided to do some research to try and find out WHY I was always wrong; why I always felt it was MY fault NO MATTER WHAT.

      To my utter dismay, disgust and surprise (no necessary in that order) I found the personality traits OF AND WHAT a Narcissist is. Explained all my years of suffering; pain; feeling I’m never good enough; feeling is ALL MY FAULT!!!!!

      I went back to research and found books by Richard Skerritt that has help me SO MUCH!!!! He has written books on the subject and I have read the Hypervigilant Personality book 1st. This explained so much to me. I am starting his 2nd book tonight … Meaning from Madness.

      I will keep you in my prayers and REMEMBER: You are the sane; loving; loyal one …NOT HIM!!!!!

      Regards
      Amanda

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    • No your not naive. Neither are the rest of the victims of narcassists including myself. We have love for others in our hearts. Something they all lack. Just because they duped us. Doesn’t mean we are at fault. It’s sad o no both sides of the fence. The best thing for you to do is just walk away. It’s not easy I know. More than any of us. Because I just did a month ago. I already feel stronger and everyday gives me a happier and clearer picture of why I’ll never go back.

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  4. I am going through narcissistic abuse from my husband.He treat me with contempt.I have gone through both physical and emotional abuse.I want to divorce him but we have son.Please help me is there way to over come

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    • Dear Rebika

      He will have isolated you from your friends and family with no-one to turn to. PLEASE REMEMBER you have ME TO TALK TO WHENEVER YOU FEEL THE NEED!!!

      I know exactly what you’re going through …. HANG IN THERE PLEASE. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

      PLEASE REMEMBER: be very careful who you discuss your problem with. If he hears about it he will turn it against you to make as it YOU are the crazy one!!!

      I’ll keep you in my prayers and contact me if you need to talk. I’m from Cape Town South Africa so take in mind the time difference if you dont hear from me immediately.

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    • You said t best…..”we” have a son. Please don’t harm your child by having him grow up in this environment. Put your crown on and move on. Your husband will never change. Living happily in peace is the best gift you can give your child. May God bless you and give you strength.

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  5. Narcissism is lack of empathy [feeling]. Sociopathy is lack of compassion [thinking]. This article is simplistic and fails to make the appropriate distinctions. Best to read the nine factors set forth in the DSM-IV, and medical journal material. See e.g., http://matrix.berkeley.edu/research/are-wealthy-more-narcissistic
    Since a narcissist is an insecure and weak person, they tend to back away from overt physical violence. A violent psychopath is both antisocial and narcissistic.

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  6. I think I have every sign of this disorder. Am I permanently damaged or is there treatment ?
    Once thought to have BPD , but after reading on this
    I believe I’ve been misdiagnosed.

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    • Yes there is help. You need to become aware of these toxic behaviors and curb them.People can say they want to change but their actions tell the truth.

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  7. I’ve been in a narrsitic marriage for 40 years how to get away from him and move on I have had its always my fault about everything I say anything and I’m being sarcastic and am trying to break away and stay away

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  8. I have been.living with my partner for 3 years n the last one & half years he have change since I founf out he been cheating behind my back his true colour have be found. Out by me..and since then he have been very on & off been nice to me ..but not the way if should be ..when ever he drink to much he is very rude to me ..almost like he saying ” I dont need you no more ” thou we sleep togather he never been intmate for a year now ..he tell me lies about what he do at work ..As when he mentioned different story when he tell me when I asked him about it ..I get diffrence answer .. he always say I this I did this .. and when I asked him about his family or life he change his subjects always n then he get very angry with me for asking ..I dont know how to take him any more ..he rejected me always now .. I feel very unhappy n lost ..what should I do ..

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    • If your best friend presented this problem to you what advice would you give her/ That is what you should do…like yesterday! Now get to it because there is someone in your future that will treat you better than this.

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  9. Well,….If speaking my mind having everyone bash me when technically none of you know me but sure have to find someone to blame stuff on,…. so it’s usually me. I haven’t been the one setting up an admin g account so that I can see what,who, and anything else someone is doing. Honestly I could careless that y’all think you’re accomplishing bringing me down but guess what I am going to let proper authorities handle things that are not being done legal. I don’t have any business for my account. I really wanted to see if Greg and I could have a typical BDSM relationship but I don’t think it will be happening. THANKS¡!! BUT I AM OK! I BELIEVE IN KARMA. Hope you enjoyed getting a laugh at my expense but you guys think I’ve never met him¿?? Well sorry but we had! He did live in SC for a while. Thanks for allowing my family to see my obituary that’s awesome

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  10. My ex, i fell in love with a man i thought was a God fearing man..needless to say…he’s a narcissistic person.. everything he did ..is/was a living nightmare of a man. Who wants control & plays the victim. Hes handsome & thrives on ppl bending backwards for ppl to worship him, praise him. He throws fits. I forgave him. God healed me from this broken heart. Im in control of me.

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  12. I’m going through the same thing with my common-law husband. But in reality we were just friends he went and put me on his income tax return at his jobs as his wife. I am from Romania but live in Houston Texas. He got fired from his job just like all the others. He’s had six jobs since 2016 got fired from all of them he has abused me physically and mentally I’m 47 he’s 29 it’s quite a long story but I’m also here for you if you need to talk my name is Raven hopefully you get back to me

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  13. I got out after 15 years. The first 4 years were good but when I look back I see the cracks that should have made me run. He changed completely when I was pregnant with my second son. He spent money like crazy, borrowed against our home an put our mortgage upside down to open a business that never took off, which was my fault because I advised against it from the beginning. I and our children were his image and accomplishment in public. I was the Iove of his life and the best thing that ever happened to him in public. I private I was lazy, didn’t clean well enough, didn’t work hard enough, didn’t love him and respect him enough, wasn’t attracted to him enough, just used him to have children. I was constantly accused of doing more for my other boyfriends than him. I was constantly compared to other women who worked with their husbands. He constantly borrowed money from people and then blamed me that he had to humiliate himself to support our family. He would scream at me that I never asked to borrow money and when I did once he screamed that I humiliated him. He threatened to commit suicide and then would leave the house so I wouldn’t know where he was. I would have to call the police to find him. He became very violent. He broke the railing off of my sons bed and beat him with it. He threatened him with a knife and threw it right next to him in a wall. I had to get him out of the room with the knife at my stomach the whole way. He threw the knife into the wall again. He stuck a loaded gun to his head and told me that the boys and I would regret it. He pushed me down, spit in my face, followed me around the house screaming at me, broke tons of stuff in the house, psychologically abused the children and made me the enemy and told everyone that I would step in when he was disciplining the children and therefore demeaning his authority and everyone told me I was wrong in doing this. That it was disrespectful to my husband. I suffer from horrible migraines and fibromayalsia. It became so bad from the stress I was bed ridden. He would not do anything in the house and the house became disgusting and he blamed me for that. He blamed me for being a bad mother. I finally called the police and got a restraining order against him. I found out that he was not planning to obey the order and was thinking about killing us and committing suicide. I packed the boys and I up all night and took the earliest flight out. I had no money. My sister bought the tickets and my friend paid for Uber to bring us to the airport. I started over in a new state half way across the country and cut all connection with him. He continues to abuse through the court system and has continued to slander me throughout the community. I started over with $2. I obtained a no contact restraining order for the children. My boys and I are all suffering with PTSD. I have wonderful help from the schools and great counselors and doctors for the boys and myself. I have also enrolled the boys in mentor programs and in Home counseling to help them recover. My divorce has not gone thru yet due to my husbands irrational behavior and desire to get even somehow. He is suing me for $25000 for wrongful arrest and imprisonment in a jury trial in which he is subpoenaing our friends. He has not given me any of my personal things or provided child support. He is trying to burden me with all his debt because it is my fault we were in debt. He says he can’t work because of me. Our home went into foreclosure. He has everyone in the area feeling sorry for him and has turned many people against me.

    But let me tell you … I would do it again in a heart beat. I probably would have planned it much better instead of having to leave for fear of our lives, but I would leave. My boys and I are recovering and learning that life can be good. I have a good job and we are beginning to recover financially. My advice is to get out. Run as fast as you can far away. Have no contact and believe in yourself that you are doing the right thing for you. Anyone that doesn’t support you or believe you wasn’t your friend anyway. You will stay friends with only a few. You will make friends again with many. You will be able to nurture your childre and raise them to be healthy happy living contributing human beings. You will be able to heal yourself, love yourself and accept yourself. You will be able to stand on your own with the confidence of a warrior. After your experience, there is not much left that you can’t handle. You are strong, loving, compassionate and so happy to be free. You have the opportunity to find someone who is healthy and will love you for who you are and respect your strengths and your interests. Choose to be happy. It’s worth the struggle.

    I pray for you all. I know the mind bending feeling of hearing constantly hearing that everything that happens is your fault. I understand the guilt of not being enough, the anger of the unfairness of their behavior, the walking on egg shells to avoid the next explosion, the annoyance of the dig comments and the anxiety and fear of their blow ups. Just know and believe it is their fault – not yours, no matter what they say!! Their is no reason for guilt – you are enough. Be at them because thei behavior is unacceptable and you are not going to take it anymore. Walk on solid ground out of the relationship. Believe in yourself and a better future.

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    • Wow. What a time you & your son had. I am so happy you had the courage and strength to move on to happiness
      Stay positive & head strong

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  15. I have three children with narcissistic male human. Never in my life I would of thought he would put our kids environment unsafe. I have a question legally can I request for the father of my children to be professionally diagnosed due to the circumstances that are involving our mutual children if I take him to court?? Can the judge do that ? All of my children have been exposed to drugs “mushrooms “ being grown in large amounts in there aunts home that there father would takes them to. He would take them two days out of the week to meet with there tutor and zoom for school for about 5 hrs each day. While they walked around the house mushrooms are being dried out in the laundry room, jars are on the kitchen counter. My children have pictures of this. Child services state they can not inspect her home because she has no children residing there and my children don’t live there. All three of my children have been interviewed by child services all of them said what they seen and how they felt unsafe. Child services said all they can do if do a safety check of the father’s home. Of course nothing has is there. My children have spoken to there father and him to stop and tells them he doesn’t know what they are talking about.. he tells them that “you’re mom is putting things ur head “ “ your mom is brain washing u” he doesn’t admit to anything and makes them feel crazy we are all beside ourselves???? How can he be acting like this.. the tutor has been interviewed and definitely confirm there is drugs in that house the tutor in.. he texts me and tells me to stop putting shit on our kids head. I work full time and drop the kids off with him from 6:30 am and pick them up at 6pm they live with me. Finally one day my daughter came to me and said mom I think dads doing drugs.. so I found out about the room they grow in and the mushrooms 🍄 all over the house. I was shocked and never had to worry in the 16years I was with him he never was a drug user. He would never speak freely about drugs in front of our kids. I felt comfortable with my kids safety he never mistreated them. This took me as surprise most definitely.. his sister is 35 year’s old and has huge influence on my children’s father. My children say he does pretty much what ever she says.
    He has crossed the line and now since this happened and child services told be there closing the case there is nothing they can do. Advise me to go to court. I’m hiring a paralegal to change our court order of custody. This is why I ask if I can show proof of all these situations can I ask for him to be evaluated?? My son is being influenced by him in making think I’m doing things to hurt his dad. He tells him I putting things in his head .. even though my son seen these things for himself. I have not been one suggesting these events have happened. All three of our kids told me about it. My two daughters 19yrsold,13yrsold went to talk to there dad to see how they can make this better and ask him to stop taking them over to there aunts house, stop doing drugs. He stood on the porch of the front door of his moms house and told them he doesn’t know what they’re talking about, I’ll see ur mom in court. And closed the door on there faces…my daughters were crying. He’s 43 and lives with his mom. Drains her of money and his mom does anything he says. She sat there while the door was being closed my her own granddaughters. She did nothing.. she wants her son all to herself. Our 19yrold lived with him at his moms house. So she yelled through the door I’m standing up for my brother and sister And tried of this. Let me get my stuff I don’t want to live here. He denied her to get her stuff. So she called the cops for escort they came he sat on the couch with his mom while my daughter brought all her stuff to the porch. All the while the police stand at the door way. Really need to do this to our children??? Wtf he is mentally unstable?? Who and why do this.. my goodness
    My son is 10 and he thinks his dad can do no wrong. He admires his dad, he cry’s cause he wants to see him. I want to prevent any harm mentality for my son’s sake he doesn’t understand the whole situation that while. He thinks his dad did that because of his aunt. I told him ur dad has choice to jump off the bridge cuz she says or don’t!!!
    My children haven’t seen him for about three weeks. Tomorrow two of them will visit him for Christmas. My 19 yrold is pissed off and says he’s going mess up the kids mind if they keep going to visit with him. She fears her brother is going to believe his dad and make him think us girls crazy. I’m limited on money I wish could hire a lawyer and have full safety for my children. Any suggestions please lmk
    Praying every day I keep strong, I feel like he’s try to make me go crazy. I’m no longer with him I have my place I left him 5 years ago. Due to similar circumstances. He’s always negative
    Positive vibes lord Jesus.. may god heal this family 🙏🏻

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  16. I have some of the symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder but not all of them. Does that make me carrier or not.

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  17. Who are you to judge others and me, you sound like a bully who’s judging others and me just cause they and I don’t wanna take your shit or everyone else’s shit that you all are doing to them and me…You can kiss my ass sounds like you need to really grow up and quit putting others down…You know by posting this shit can get you jail time and sued your not that smart cause I got your ip address and can turn you in to the Police Department…Any ways your not that smart or highly educated by getting on here and bullying, controlling,mind messing,mocking,judging making fun of others…your a ass

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