Bullying is Sociopathic Behavior


Bullying2Bullies don’t only lurk in school hallways and playgrounds… They grow up and become parents, co-workers, and bosses. They work in offices, businesses, for governments, in police departments, law offices, and charitable organizations.

Studies show that cyber-bullies really are sadistic and have narcissistic/psychopathic personality disorders. This is true of many garden-variety bullies as well.

mistake Cowards who find it impossible to stand alone & work out problems like adults.  They need an army of puppet followers and/or technology to hide behind and make them feel powerful. Science has recently proven that cyber-bullies really are sadistic and suffer from narcissistic/psychopathic personality disorders.  This is true of many garden-variety bullies as well.
leaders  stop bullying3

To name or not to name your abuser?

DontSuffer Stand up

Legal and Moral Considerations


Isn’t it wrong to expose someone by name—even if they did cause harm?
If you are asking this question, you should also ask yourself if it is right for an abuser to get away with hurting people. Concealing an abuser’s identity is protecting them from consequences for their actions and enables them to continue preying on unsuspecting victims.

Isn’t it against the law to publish the name of an abuser?
No, it isn’t. The rule is simple: just stick to the truth. You may also publish their picture on the Internet as long as you own the copyright. Still, caution is advisable. You should be able to verify all of your statements that even remotely could be construed as defamatory. Refrain completely from insults and name-calling.

Screenshot 2016-05-05 12.29.40

Intimidation tactics

A bully may threaten to sue you for libel to intimidate you, but in reality, a defamation lawsuit would not be in their interests because their own actions would then be fully exposed and scrutinized in court. Also, the burden of proof is on the party claiming libel. They don’t have a case unless they can prove that what you published is both defamatory and false. A lawsuit can take many years and become very costly, too.

Screenshot 2016-05-05 12.29.57

You will become a threat

You are not at fault if the truth about an abuser’s behavior damages their reputation. From a bully’s egocentrically warped point of view and sense of entitlement; everything is your fault. Count on being accused of slander, libel, and probably all sorts of other crimes if you speak up. They may be scary in their denial; playing the victim role and acting out indignation, hurling accusations, and vilifying you while manipulating other people to turn against you and support their vengeful schemes. It’s all a game to them. A self-righteous, hateful, and remorseless schemer can cause you a lot of harm—but they don’t have the law on their side.

ArticulateVictim

Consider the consequences

No one has the right to abuse you, and you are always entitled to defend yourself and to speak about what was done to you. However, it is up to you to decide what to do. You’ll need to examine all aspects of your situation and weigh your values against an estimated cost in personal suffering for asserting them. Read about cases similar to your own for valuable insights and warnings to heed, and educate yourself about psychopathy and libel laws to gain confidence and make a better informed decision. Most importantly, consider all possible consequences of ‘going public,’ especially danger to the life and well being of yourself and your loved ones.

moralcourage

More info: Exposing an Abuser


Everything happens for a reason…

nothing you can say or do will make him change

Don’t beat yourself up trying to figure out what you did wrong or what you should have done differently. Abusers target good people. Sometimes, it’s really that simple.

Everything happens for a reason

See also:
Empaths are Targets
The Sociopath-Empath-Apath Triad
The Relationship Between Empaths and Narcissists


But He Never Hit Me…

But he never hit me
When most people hear the word “abuse,” they naturally conjure up images of broken bones, black eyes, and bruises. But in truth, physical violence comprises the vast minority of abusive behaviors in any relationship. The overwhelming types of abuses are those that are difficult to recognize: verbal, emotional, psychological, financial, and spiritual. Because no outward signs of mistreatment exist, these types of abuses usually go unnoticed, especially by the woman experiencing them. In particular, abusive comments often lead a woman in any unhealthy relationship to distrust her own reality and good sense.

But He Never Hit Me: The Devastating Cost of Non-Physical Abuse to Girls and Women exposes the truth about these destructive behaviors and also reveals the red flags of a potentially abusive relationship. Women can explore their own background information to understand what led them to these men, the shocking costs that non-physically threatening relationships have on every part of their life, and ways in which they can make changes toward a more positive, healthy, and rewarding future. Imperative for women of all ages, from teens through senior citizens, But He Never Hit Me joins and aligns a large and supportive community of women dedicated to healthy, rewarding relationships.


Kill the messenger

Rosa says: Isn’t it amazing how sociopaths can run around smearing people, telling insidious lies with impunity…THEN…when WE try to warn others (with the TRUTH) about possible danger of the socio, it’s “Kill the Messenger” time…and we are the “Messenger”. What’s up with that?

*   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *

Dear Rosa,
DARVO

What you are describing is the standard abuser protocol called DARVO, an acronym for Deny, Attack, Reverse roles of Victim and Offender.  Your question and your righteous outrage are about psycho/sociopaths’ ability to harm others easily and repeatedly—with impunity—sometimes with devastating consequences for their victim. As if that wasn’t bad enough, the victim’s friends and family may withhold support or reject him/her at the worst of times because the abuser had the evil foresight to secure their sympathy and support, and at the same time, destroy the victim’s reputation and credibility.

SociopathsThe reason why pathological aggressors are so successful with this cunning scheme is quite simple: they are exceptionally skilled actors with a lifetime of practice in lying, manipulating, persuading, and deceiving. The psycho/sociopath will callously aim to crush his victim, unperturbed by any ethical concerns. The victim’s moral standards will limit his options, and lacking the persuasive powers of a psychopath, he may fail to convince others of the truth of the matter.

Another reason why many of us are conned again and again is because we cannot fathom that a friendly, intelligent, respectable person to whom we may have extended exceptional kindness, trust, and generosity; would be capable of acting so atrociously. It is incomprehensible to most of us that there really are human beings who don’t have a conscience and we fail to see the patterns in our experiences that verify the ‘unpleasant’ facts that challenge or contradict our long held beliefs.
Read about Denial and
D.A.R.V.O.
 

Denying, Discounting, and Dismissing Abuse

Why is it so easy for an abuser to get away with it and so difficult for an abuse victim to be heard?

The typical serial bully is a Dr Jekyll/Mr Hyde personality type (male or female) who has put considerable effort into establishing and maintaining a respectable and credible public persona. Bystanders may believe they know him well, that he is a genuinely righteous person, and that he couldn’t possibly be capable of the malicious behavior he is accused of. Unable (and probably unwilling) to imagine that they have been deceived, their logical conclusion is that the accuser is the antagonist, acting out inexplicable malevolence. With derogatory implications about his target’s mental state, lack of character, or foul motives, the abuser fuels this role reversal. Feigning moral indignation and playing the part of the victim, he encourages supporters to see the real victim, who is attempting to be heard, as the abusive one. 

Narcissism

Dr. Vaknin explains: “Even the victim’s relatives, friends, and colleagues are amenable to the considerable charm, persuasiveness, and manipulativeness of the abuser and to his impressive thespian skills. The abuser offers a plausible rendition of the events and interprets them to his favor. Others rarely have a chance to witness an abusive exchange first hand and at close quarters. In contrast, the victims are often on the verge of a nervous breakdown: harassed, unkempt, irritable, impatient, abrasive, and hysterical.”

“Confronted with this contrast between a polished, self-controlled, and suave abuser and his harried casualties, it is easy to reach the conclusion that the real victim is the abuser, or that both parties abuse each other equally. The prey’s acts of self-defense, assertiveness, or insistence on her rights are interpreted as aggression, lability, or a mental health problem.”

Dr. Sam Vaknin, Narcissism by Proxy

Narcissism

Three cognitive strategies have been identified for when people deny, discount, or dismiss occurrences of abuse and for turning away from effective steps to stop it and hold abusers accountable:

1

Reflexively dismissing all evidence as questionable, incomplete, misleading, false, or in some other way inadequate.

2

Using euphemism, abstraction, and other linguistic transformations to hide the abuse.

3

Turning away: ‘I’m not involved,’ ‘There is nothing I can do about it,’ ‘I have no authority, jurisdiction, power, or influence,’ ‘This is no concern of mine,’ etc.

See also:
Adult Bullies
Bullied to Death
Abusers operate on the sly.
DARVO: Deny Attack Reverse Victim/Offender
Why is it so hard to hold abusive people accountable for their actions?

Elie Wiesel Quote Art


Adult Bullies


Adult Bullies

Stonewalling is a tactic commonly used by bullies wanting to control, humiliate, and frustrate a target who attempts to resolve a conflict through reasonable discussion or negotiation. Accusations of mental deficiency, harassment, and even bullying, are other typical methods of asserting dominance, intimidating the target, and discouraging objections to the abuse from both victim and bystanders. To the insightful observer, these behaviors reveal the bully’s true motivations.

Also possibly of interest:
The serial Church bully…..sounds a lot like this. 
healingfromcomplextraumaandptsd.wordpress.com

Sociopaths Recruit Minions PsychopathResistance.com
Bullied to Death PsychopathResistance.com


Why is it so hard to hold abusive people accountable for their actions?

Aside

Because they are either in
denial, or they simply deny.

BarDivider06

Abusers regularly deny the abuse ever took place, rationalize their abusive behaviors, or use tactics to cover themselves—and each other.

Sociopaths are skilled deniers. Where the rest of us would stutter or blush, they can lie with a convincing confidence. They pose as authorities and, to discourage questions, they act “offended” if their audience shows doubt. An arrogant manner indicates a lifetime of “successful” manipulative control tactics and contempt for other people, who they regard as inferior.

BarDivider06

Why is it so hard to hold abusive people accountable for their actions?

BarDivider06

State of Denial


It’s so easy to be fooled.

superficial charmPsychopaths are superficially charming. They lack delusions or other signs of irrational thinking and are free of nervousness and anxiety. In other words, they present an image of stability, confidence, and overall good “mental health” that can disarm even the most experienced judge of human character. superficial charm