- Sociopaths have a profound lack of empathy for the feelings of others. They lack the internal feedback system by which normal people monitor themselves. (Most people call this “conscience,” which is probably as useful a term as any.) Sociopaths do not have this and don’t feel bad about abusing other people. It’s not that they feel bad and ignore it—they don’t feel it at all.
- Sociopaths understand that they are different from normal people and learn to mimic normal behavior. This mimicry has a purpose: It gets the sociopath what he or she wants.
- The sociopath hides his or her difference. After letting it show a time or two—and probably being punished by a parent as a result—the sociopath covers up the truth and keeps it covered. But the reason for hiding it is not embarrassment (the sociopath doesn’t feel embarrassment), but because it hinders him from getting what he want.
- Since sociopaths have no empathy for others, making use of normal people feels just fine to them. Likewise, they feel no remorse.
- Empathy, as viewed by the sociopath, is a weakness, and he considers himself superior because he isn’t burdened by it.
- Because they lack an internal feedback system, sociopaths are excellent liars. For example, they can often pass lie detector tests, since those tests register the effects of our internal feedback system, which they don’t have.
- A sociopath is likely to maintain a group of people who believe wholeheartedly that he is a good, kind, honest person. He’ll work in calculated ways to create and maintain that opinion in them.
From They Walk Among Us by Paul Rosenberg
Don’t be fooled by nice manners. What looks like politeness may be pretense to sugarcoat aggressive, manipulative, or false communication. Look at the content; not merely the cover. Pay close attention to what the person is saying and don’t be fooled by his position or the eloquence of his expression.
See also: It’s so easy to be fooled
In our understanding of the world around us, we are restricted by the framework of our knowledge and beliefs. When we try to make sense of other people’s behavior, our minds rationalize to avoid cognitive dissonance, or contradicting beliefs, sometimes resulting in unrealistic perceptions. The decisions we base on those perceptions will be ineffective or inappropriate at best, while in a worst case scenario; they could lead to a lifetime of misery or death.
- See no Evil: Why is there so little Psychopathy Awareness? (psychopathyawareness.wordpress.com)
- 12 cognitive biases that prevent you from being rational (reasonandlogic.wordpress.com)
- Cognitive Dissonance Theory (eam006.wordpress.com)
- 14 Psychopathic Tactics (psychopathresistance.wordpress.com)
From an article by Rob at Angiemedia:
Sociopaths In Our Midst Hate the Truth and Its Advocates
Do people who say that believe there are no real victims? Or that there are victims but that they should be silent about their experiences? Maybe they believe that victimization is a ‘choice’ or that the victim must be partially responsible for the abuse—or even deserve it. Maybe they think that when people talk about their suffering or the mistreatment they have endured, they do it only to gain an advantage, such as attention or sympathy.
The pain and damage sociopaths cause, without remorse, needs to be taken seriously. Covert or emotional abuse is known to cause PTSD, wreck lives, and lead to fatalities. Laura19 writes on Lovefraud.com: “Excruciating emotional pain. Numbness. Loss of appetite. Sleepless nights. Obsessive thoughts. Inability to concentrate. Loss of pleasure in cherished activities. Lack of energy. Anxiety and panic attacks. All of the above will probably sound familiar to those of us who have been devalued and discarded…” Read about her remarkable path to recovery after surviving a relationship with a personality disordered person at lovefraud.com.
- Emotional Abuse Is a Silent Killer (kellythompsonlive.com)
- Emotional abuse: How to recognize the signs (pinkandblack-magazine.com)
- To All Victims of Abuse… (secretangelps911.wordpress.com)
- Emotional Abuse and the Law (childhoodtraumarecovery.com)
- Emotional Abuse is more than just yelling (krishannah.wordpress.com)
- Verbal and Emotional Abuse – Dragging it into the light. (gaiamojo.wordpress.com)
- The dripping tap of emotional abuse in the Sociopath and Narcissist relationship (paularenee.wordpress.com)
- INDIRECT Abusers (sbstardust3.wordpress.com)
Personality disordered people lack this capacity.
Narcissistic Supply (Wikipedia)
Narcissistic Supply (The Narcissistic Life)
Narcissistic Supply (Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers)
Narcissists, Narcissistic Supply and Sources of Supply (Sam Vaknin)
Stonewalling consists of:
- Refusal to negotiate a conflict in good faith
- Refusal to discuss honestly one’s motivations
- Refusal to listen to another point of view with openness
- Refusal to compromise
- Refusal to collaborate
- Refusal to support the other person’s plans
- Refusal to accept influence
By Michael Samsel (abuseandrelationships.org)
Psychopaths never, repeat NEVER, take
personal responsibility for their behavior
—it’s always the fault of someone else.
Find out more:
Men who hate women
“These people are at war with you. Don’t ever tell them your secrets or your insecurities. They will just use it against you to inflict more pain. It’s a harsh reality to accept, but some people really are that hostile towards the world that they really are out to emotionally hurt everyone and anyone. The people they are closest to are just their easiest victims.”
Since, in the majority of cases, people who indulge in abuse are selective about whom they abuse, other people are typically surprised—or in disbelief—when hearing that someone is experiencing on-going and periodic abuse from someone they know and have always seen as nice and friendly. “Nice and friendly” is the persona of many conmen, abusers, and killers. Although many folks really are as nice and friendly as they seem, some most definitly are not. Like Ted Bundy.
If most members of a group are honest and intelligent, then evil people will be identified and excluded. When most members have psychopathic traits, the honest and intelligent people are identified and excluded! In a psychopath-controlled environment, it’s the honest people who seem defective and deviant.
Brain scans of teens with a history of aggressive bullying behavior suggest that they may actually get pleasure out of seeing someone else in pain. While this may come as little surprise to those who have been victimized by bullies, it is not what the researchers expected.
The reason they were surprised is because the prevailing view is that these kids are cold and unemotional in their aggression.
“It is entirely possible their brains are lighting in the way they are because they experience seeing pain in others as exciting and fun and pleasurable,” said one researcher.
“We need to test that hypothesis more, but that is what it looks like,” he added.
- ‘Bully’, a must-see for teens (bostonglobe.com)
- Emotional bullying (salemwitchhunt.wordpress.com)
- Are You Immune to Bullying? Learn about Someone who Is. (standupagainstbullyingguy.wordpress.com)
- The Anatomy of a Bully (dearfriendsblog.wordpress.com)
- Mom Seeks Restraining Order Against Daughter’s 9-Year-Old Bully (dreamindemon.com)
- Bullying (neumannpsychology.wordpress.com)
- Bullying study findings (itv.com)
- Bullying Helps (momentmatters.wordpress.com)
By Dr. Martha Stout
The Sociopath Next Door
1 Accept that some people have no conscience; that there are evil people in this world who do not act out of concern or love for another.
2 Listen to your instincts — labels (professional roles) do not make a good person. Look carefully at someone who “carries” a professional label, judging whether that individual’s behavior fits what is expected of that professional role.
3 Practice the rule of threes — One lie or broken promise may be a misunderstanding, two lies may involve a serious mistake, three lies — the individual is not trustworthy. Stay away from that individual.
4 Question authority.
5 Suspect flattery — when someone flatters you excessively, telling you how much they appreciate you or like it when you visit or how much they enjoy your conversations.
6 Redefine your concept of respect — respect must be earned. Don’t automatically give respect to an individual because of her professional role or her relationship to you.
7 Refuse to join the game — do not try to outsmart the sociopath. Do not reduce yourself to his level.
8 Once you identify a sociopath, avoid him, refuse any kind of interaction. It is the only way to protect yourself.
9 Question your tendency to pity too easily. Anyone who actively campaigns for your pity or consistently hurts others is likely a sociopath. Pity should be reserved for those who truly deserve it. Make sure the individual who seeks your help really needs it.
10 Do not try to redeem the unredeemable. If you are dealing with someone without a conscience, you cannot change them, no matter how educated or loving you are. Sociopaths have no reason to change; they like who they are.
11 Never agree to help a sociopath conceal her true character. You don’t owe the sociopath anything. Don’t believe that you are like her, no matter what she says. You are nothing like her.
12 Defend your psyche. Humanity is not a failure. Being kind and loving and caring is the best way to live. It is the way most people live their lives.
13 Living well is the best revenge.
- What not to read before bed (morvensblog.wordpress.com)
- Identifying the Adversary (twsp1.wordpress.com)
- The Authenticity and Effectiveness of Flattery (danerwin.typepad.com)
- Doc Bonn Explains: The Difference Between a Sociopath and a Psychopath (psychopathresistance.wordpress.com)
- Flattery or Fraud? (lisawieldswords.wordpress.com)
- Sociopaths and Psychopaths: Can They Be Cured? (phoenixsphere.com)
- Sociopaths R Us (lewrockwell.com)
- “Because most humans aren’t full-on sociopaths…” (darkerme.com)
- Why We Love Sociopaths (thelastpsychiatrist.com)
- A Real Capacity for Evil (lewrockwell.com)
- The Ascendance of Sociopaths in US Governance (theburningplatform.com)