Related posts on Psychopath Resistance:
- The Skilled Liar
- It’s so easy to be fooled
- They seem completely normal
- Why is it so hard to hold abusers accountable?
You’re an honest, forthright person. You take your obligations seriously. You would never dream of taking advantage of someone—so when a sociopath takes advantage of you, you won’t see it coming. If you play by the rules, know this:
Read more at LoveFraud.com.
Don’t be fooled by nice manners. What looks like politeness can be pretense used to sugarcoat aggressive, manipulative, or false communication. Look at the content; not merely the cover. In other words; pay attention to what the person is saying, and don’t be fooled by who he is or how he is saying it.
See also It’s so easy to be fooled
Stripped of context, the victim’s reactions appear to be unprovoked—as if out of the blue and without reason—with deceived bystanders, unaware that they are being used as pawns, hopping onto the bully’s bandwagon as a possible result, strengthening his position and making his victim look worse.
“OMG yes, before I finally resolved to go NC all the way and blocked his calls and texts, he would text me nasty remarks to which I replied in the same vein. I later learned he’d shown the reply texts to others without showing the one’s he’d sent to me first, which were obviously meant just to goad me into responding so he could say “see, she won’t leave me alone, she’s stalking me”. I still haven’t gotten over my anger at this and everything else he’s done. Some days are better than others; today’s a bad one.”
Abusers tend to be comfortable lying, having years of practice (and no qualms,) and so can sound believable when making baseless statements. The abuser benefits when people feel too uncomfortable to ask a seemingly sincere, respectable person to substantiate a claim, or fail to look closely at evidence—if not ignore it—because of his charm or perceived authority. He also benefits when people believe that they can “just tell” who is lying and who is telling the truth, and so fail to adequately investigate.
What our gut tells us a manipulator is like, challenges everything we’ve been taught to believe about human nature. We’ve been inundated with a psychology that has us seeing everybody, at least to some degree, as afraid, insecure or “hung-up.” So, while our gut tells us we’re dealing with a ruthless conniver, our head tells us they must be really frightened or wounded “underneath.” What’s more, most of us generally hate to think of ourselves as callous and insensitive people. We hesitate to make harsh or seemingly negative judgments about others. We want to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they don’t really harbor the malevolent intentions we suspect. We’re more apt to doubt and blame ourselves for daring to believe what our gut tells us about our manipulator’s character.
Read the victims’ personal accounts and notice the similarities
between the psychopathic abusers that they describe!
“…bear in mind you are dealing with highly skilled manipulators. They’ve had years and years of experience being covertly aggressive–do not underestimate their power. It happens so quickly, so subtly, you must arm yourself with tools to fight such monsters.”
“I have met a lot of people who have said something rude, did something in total disregard to my feelings and then gave lame excuses, no excuses or even tried to accuse me of being the bad guy afterwards. These manipulative people know what they’re doing, they don’t care, and they get a kick out of manipulating you.”
“These people are at war with you. Don’t ever tell them your secrets or your insecurities. They will just use it against you to inflict more pain.”
“For the first time in my life, I understand why I perceive people are “always taking advantage of me”. I’ve let them. Since I’ve been speaking up, I feel empowered and alive. This book saved my perspective, if not my life…”
“They look like us, but they are extremely smooth at decieving and come in many forms!”
More posts featuring Dr George Simon:
Psychopaths are superficially charming. They lack delusions or other signs of irrational thinking and are free of nervousness and anxiety. In other words, they present an image of stability, confidence, and overall good “mental health” that can disarm even the most experienced judge of human character.
See also: Political Ponerology
THE GENESIS OF EVIL 1. Ponerogenic Associations 2. Ponerization 3. Pathocracy The ultimate cause of evil lies in the interaction of two human factors: 1) …
We shall give the name “ponerogenic association” as referring to any group of people characterized by ponerogenic processes of above-average social intensity …
Discover the general laws of the genesis of evil, also known as ponerogenesis, at all levels of human systems – from the family, group and societal levels to the …
Club B started out explicitly as a group of scofflaws, thus it fits Lobaczewski’s ( “Political Ponerology”) definition of a primary ponerogenic union: one that starts …
But only some of them, relatively few, can be characterized as ponerogenic, meaning that they can be harmful to people around them or to society in general.
We shall give the name “ponerogenic association” to any group of people characterized by ponerogenic processes of above-average social intensity, wherein …
One phenomenon all ponerogenic groups and associations have in common is the fact that their members lose (or have already lost) the capacity to…
Individuals with antisocial personality disorder are self-centered and remorseless. They do not care about the feelings of others.
Perhaps most frightening is that they often seem completely normal.
From the psychopath’s point of view, everyone belongs to one of two categories: predators or prey.