Psychopaths are manipulators.

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chess-pawns-123rf.com

A psychopath knows how to get people to sympathize with him and turn them against the target of his abuse. Manipulating people is an entertaining game for a psychopath. He enjoys feeling powerful and superior as he watches his unsuspecting ‘pawns’ subject his target to criticism, blame, abuse, and rejection.

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See also:
A Game of Destroying People
Manipulation Tactics
Dr. George Simon explains how manipulation tactics work.
Why Would Anyone Want to Control You?


Are You Trustworthy?

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Trustworthy?
trustworthyYou’re an honest, forthright person. You take your obligations seriously. You would never dream of taking advantage of someone—so when a sociopath takes advantage of you, you won’t see it coming. If you play by the rules, know this:
Sociopaths don’t.

Read more at LoveFraud.com.

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Why is it so hard to hold psychopathic abusers accountable?


 

Without Conscience

Because they play dirty. They don’t follow any rules of civil interaction. Lacking a conscience, they have no moral constraints on their behavior, and when confronted, they simply deny their evil deeds. They couldn’t care less about civility, decency, morality, or honor as long as their actions pay out and their unethical behavior is kept under the public radar. They are free to lie, con, deceive, manipulate, intimidate, incriminate, or use any other trick in the book.

chesskingWe may not recognize the disingenuous conniving techniques they use to control and manipulate. An experienced abuser is extraordinarily devious and almost impossible to pin down. Primed with denial strategies, he’s always ahead of the game.

Psychopaths use numerous deception tactics to create and maintain a respectable, virtuous, likable—maybe even admirable—public persona that deceives the best of us. They take advantage of our tendency to not recognize evidence that contradicts our beliefs, such as dishonesty and other lowly character traits in an individual who has ‘won’ our trust, respect, and appreciation. The persona provides a cover for devious schemes, exploitation, and abuse. 

A psychopathic individual may believe that all of us play the same game—only he is smarter and superior while most other people are weak and inferior pushovers. Until understanding of psychopathy becomes widespread public knowledge, the predator’s hunting grounds will remain saturated with easy prey.

 Persona: the aspect of someone’s character that is presented to or perceived by others.

MessyRule3

Related articles

Polished Manners

The Official Etiquette Rules for the Vintage A...

The Official Etiquette Rules for the Vintage Advice Group (Photo: Ann Douglas)

Don’t be fooled by nice manners. What looks like politeness can be pretense used to sugarcoat aggressive, manipulative, or false communication. Look at the content; not merely the cover. In other words; pay attention to what the person is saying, and don’t be fooled by who he is or how he is saying it.

See also It’s so easy to be fooled

Slander Tactics

Stripped of context, the victim’s reactions appear to be unprovoked—as if out of the blue and without reason—with deceived bystanders, unaware that they are being used as pawns, hopping onto the bully’s bandwagon as a possible result, strengthening his position and making his victim look worse.Slander (album)

“OMG yes, before I finally resolved to go NC all the way and blocked his calls and texts, he would text me nasty remarks to which I replied in the same vein. I later learned he’d shown the reply texts to others without showing the one’s he’d sent to me first, which were obviously meant just to goad me into responding so he could say “see, she won’t leave me alone, she’s stalking me”. I still haven’t gotten over my anger at this and everything else he’s done. Some days are better than others; today’s a bad one.”

These people lack empathy and moral values. They want the upper hand and they have no qualms about using dirty tricks to get it.


The skilled liar

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The Skilled Liar

Liar Liar

Billy LiarAbusers tend to be comfortable lying, having years of practice (and no qualms,) and so can sound believable when making baseless statements. The abuser benefits when people feel too uncomfortable to ask a seemingly sincere, respectable person to substantiate a claim, or fail to look closely at evidence—if not ignore it—because of his charm or perceived authority. He also benefits when people believe that they can “just tell” who is lying and who is telling the truth, and so fail to adequately investigate.

When Compassion is a Mistake

compassion

What our gut tells us a manipulator is like, challenges everything we’ve been taught to believe about human nature. We’ve been inundated with a psychology that has us seeing everybody, at least to some degree, as afraid, insecure or “hung-up.” So, while our gut tells us we’re dealing with a ruthless conniver, our head tells us they must be really frightened or wounded “underneath.” What’s more, most of us generally hate to think of ourselves as callous and insensitive people. We hesitate to make harsh or seemingly negative judgments about others. We want to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they don’t really harbor the malevolent intentions we suspect. We’re more apt to doubt and blame ourselves for daring to believe what our gut tells us about our manipulator’s character.

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Victims of Psychopaths: True Stories

From DailyStrength.org

psychopath victim

“Is he beyond a narcissist? Is he a sociopath or psychopath? Think we’re only talking about serial killers here? Psychopaths, sociopaths, and even narcissists come in every walk of life, every career level, and every socio-economic category. They are doctors, attorneys, ministers, students, and truck drivers. They are realtors, construction workers, and professors. They are your boss, your neighbor, your family member, and your lover or husband. You might even be with one now and not know.”

psychopath victim

Read the victims’ personal accounts and notice the similarities
between the psychopathic abusers that they describe!


Wall Street Psychopaths

Dr Robert Hare

Power, money and psychopaths

A well-respected Wall Street money manager posts an article explaining how pathological predators are ripping apart the economy and society.

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In Sheep’s Clothing:

Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People

by Dr. George K. Simon

In Sheep's Clothing

On Amazon: In Sheep’s Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People, by George K. Simon


“…bear in mind you are dealing with highly skilled manipulators. They’ve had years and years of experience being covertly aggressive–do not underestimate their power. It happens so quickly, so subtly, you must arm yourself with tools to fight such monsters.”

“I have met a lot of people who have said something rude, did something in total disregard to my feelings and then gave lame excuses, no excuses or even tried to accuse me of being the bad guy afterwards. These manipulative people know what they’re doing, they don’t care, and they get a kick out of manipulating you.”

“These people are at war with you. Don’t ever tell them your secrets or your insecurities. They will just use it against you to inflict more pain.”

“For the first time in my life, I understand why I perceive people are “always taking advantage of me”. I’ve let them. Since I’ve been speaking up, I feel empowered and alive. This book saved my perspective, if not my life…”

“They look like us, but they are extremely smooth at decieving and come in many forms!”

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More posts featuring Dr George Simon:

It’s so easy to be fooled.

superficial charmPsychopaths are superficially charming. They lack delusions or other signs of irrational thinking and are free of nervousness and anxiety. In other words, they present an image of stability, confidence, and overall good “mental health” that can disarm even the most experienced judge of human character. superficial charm

Are we brainwashed to admire psychopaths?

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“One phenomenon all ponerogenic groups and associations have in common is the fact that their members lose (or have already lost) the capacity to perceive pathological individuals as such, interpreting their behavior in fascinated, heroic, or melodramatic ways.”

Andrew Lobaczewski

See also:  Political Ponerology

POLITICAL PONEROLOGY: THE GENESIS OF EVIL

THE GENESIS OF EVIL 1. Ponerogenic Associations 2. Ponerization 3. Pathocracy The ultimate cause of evil lies in the interaction of two human factors: 1) …

Ponerogenic Association – Cassiopaea Glossary

We shall give the name “ponerogenic association” as referring to any group of people characterized by ponerogenic processes of above-average social intensity …

Ponerology: The Science of Evil – SystemsThinker.com

Discover the general laws of the genesis of evil, also known as ponerogenesis, at all levels of human systems – from the family, group and societal levels to the …

Ponerology – definition and meaning – Wordnik

Club B started out explicitly as a group of scofflaws, thus it fits Lobaczewski’s ( “Political Ponerology”) definition of a primary ponerogenic union: one that starts …

The Ponerology | Marian Wasilewski

But only some of them, relatively few, can be characterized as ponerogenic, meaning that they can be harmful to people around them or to society in general.

Political Ponerology Part III – Fried Green Tomatoes

We shall give the name “ponerogenic association” to any group of people characterized by ponerogenic processes of above-average social intensity, wherein …

“One phenomenon all ponerogenic groups… – Dumbing …

One phenomenon all ponerogenic groups and associations have in common is the fact that their members lose (or have already lost) the capacity to…


Stonewalling a.k.a. “the silent treatment”

stonewalling
silent treatment

Abusers often use stonewalling as a tactic because it is a way to apply pressure that seemingly can’t be confronted because the abuser can claim that he is “not doing anything.”

They seem completely normal.

 

ASPD

Individuals with antisocial personality disorder are self-centered and remorseless. They do not care about the feelings of others.
Antisocial Personality Disorder
Perhaps most frightening is that they often seem completely normal.
 
 
 

13 Rules for dealing with a psycho/sociopath

By Dr. Martha Stout

The Sociopath Next Door

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Accept that some people have no conscience; that there are evil people in this world who do not act out of concern or love for another.
Listen to your instincts — labels (professional roles) do not make a good person. Look carefully at someone who “carries” a professional label, judging whether that individual’s behavior fits what is expected of that professional role.
Practice the rule of threes — One lie or broken promise may be a misunderstanding, two lies may involve a serious mistake, three lies — the individual is not trustworthy. Stay away from that individual.
Question authority.
Suspect flattery — when someone flatters you excessively, telling you how much they appreciate you or like it when you visit or how much they enjoy your conversations.
Redefine your concept of respect — respect must be earned. Don’t automatically give respect to an individual because of her professional role or her relationship to you.
Refuse to join the game — do not try to outsmart the sociopath. Do not reduce yourself to his level.
Once you identify a sociopath, avoid him, refuse any kind of interaction. It is the only way to protect yourself.
Question your tendency to pity too easily. Anyone who actively campaigns for your pity or consistently hurts others is likely a sociopath. Pity should be reserved for those who truly deserve it. Make sure the individual who seeks your help really needs it.
10 Do not try to redeem the unredeemable. If you are dealing with someone without a conscience, you cannot change them, no matter how educated or loving you are. Sociopaths have no reason to change; they like who they are.
11 Never agree to help a sociopath conceal her true character. You don’t owe the sociopath anything. Don’t believe that you are like her, no matter what she says. You are nothing like her.
12 Defend your psyche. Humanity is not a failure. Being kind and loving and caring is the best way to live. It is the way most people live their lives.
13 Living well is the best revenge.

The Sociopath Next DoorRelated articles

Beware of…

When people say that i’m not the best.

Psychopaths’ lack of empathy and guilt
allows them to lie with impunity; they do
not see the value of telling the truth 
unless it will help get them what they want.