The Apath

The Empathy Trap:
Understanding
Antisocial Personalities

by Dr Jane McGregor
and Tim McGregor

Excerpt: Apaths are an integral part of the sociopath’s arsenal and contribute to sociopathic abuse. Sociopaths have an uncanny knack of knowing who will assist them in bringing down the person they are targeting. It is not necessarily easy to identify an apath; in other circumstances, an apath can show ample empathy and concern for others—just not in this case. The one attribute an apath must have is a link to the target.

How apaths, who might otherwise be fair-minded people, become involved in such destructive business is not hard to understand, but it can be hard to accept. The main qualifying attribute is poor judgment resulting from lack of insight. They might be jealous of or angry at the target, and thus have something to gain from the evolving situation.

At other times, the apath might not want to see the ‘bad’ in someone, particularly if the sociopath is useful. Or they might choose not to see because they have enough on their plate and do not possess the wherewithal or moral courage to help the targeted person at that time. Usually, be it active or passive involvement, the apath’s conscience appears to fall asleep.

Read more…

See also:
Flying Monkeys
Sociopaths Recruit Minions
Once a flying monkey, always a flying monkey…
‘Common Knowledge’:
The Sociopath’s Method of Recruiting and Arming Minions.

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The Imperative of Understanding Psychopathy

From the article by Bernhard Guenther: Marianne Williamson and the Elephant in the Living Room “Nothing will change fundamentally until we educate ourselves about psychopathy and political ponerology and how it affects all of us. The virus of psychopathy will infect any new system, community or change in power until it is brought to awareness and looked at for what it is. Then the solutions will present themselves based on the knowledge and understanding we have gained. Educating ourselves and others about it is the best we can do for ourselves and future generations. It is vital knowledge in this day and age.”

Read more of this outstanding article!

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The Authoritarian Personality

Authoritarian, sociopathic, and narcissistic personality traits have many similarities.

Research shows that authoritarians are far more likely to exhibit sloppy reasoning, highly compartmentalized beliefs, double standards, hypocrisy, self-blindness, a profound ethnocentrism, and—to top it all off—a ferocious dogmatism that makes it unlikely anyone could ever change their minds with evidence or logic.

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The Emperor’s New Clothes

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To deal with sociopaths effectively, you first need to open your eyes. In The Emperor’s New Clothes by Hans Christian Anderson, two weavers promise the emperor a new suit of clothes that is invisible to those who are stupid and unfit for their positions.

When the emperor parades before his subjects, all the adults, not wishing to be seen in a negative light, pretend they can see the clothes. The only truthful person is a child who cries “But he isn’t wearing any clothes!”.

You, too, need to see sociopaths as they really are. We are conditioned to keep quiet, which often means turning a blind eye to or putting up with abuse.

The boy in the tale represents those who see the problem behavior for what it is and find the courage of their convictions to make a stand. Sight becomes insight, which turns into action. Awareness is the first step in limiting the negative effects of contact with a sociopath.

Via: Empathic people are natural targets for sociopaths—protect yourself—Science of the Spirit—Sott.net

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See also:

• Masters of Deception
• A Polished Persona
• The “Virtuous” Sociopath
• See no evil: Why is there so little psychopathy awareness?

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Can psychopaths tell who’s another psychopath?

Answer by Jay Jones:

Yes. I am a high scoring psychopath, I can recognise others, as well as sociopaths (secondary psychopaths), many other disorders and brain/personality variations. Besides being able to recognise others of a very similar ilk, we are very tuned to working others out. I can spot police, many school teachers, depression, ADHD, mental illnesses, personality flaws, people’s conscious fears, strengths and weaknesses, all sorts of things the average person doesn’t pick up on.

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Lack of Empathy

• Sociopaths have a profound lack of empathy for the feelings of others.
  They lack the internal feedback system by which normal people monitor themselves. (Most people call this “conscience,” which is probably as useful a term as any.) Sociopaths do not have this and don’t feel bad about abusing other people. It’s not that they feel bad and ignore it—they don’t feel it at all.

• Sociopaths understand that they are different from normal people and learn to mimic normal behavior. This mimicry has a purpose: It gets the sociopath what he or she wants.

• The sociopath hides his or her difference. After letting it show a time or two—and probably being punished by a parent as a result—the sociopath covers up the truth and keeps it covered. But the reason for hiding it is not embarrassment (the sociopath doesn’t feel embarrassment), but because it hinders him from getting what he want.

• Since sociopaths have no empathy for others, making use of normal people feels just fine to them. Likewise, they feel no remorse.

• Empathy, as viewed by the sociopath, is a weakness, and he considers himself superior because he isn’t burdened by it.

• Because they lack an internal feedback system, sociopaths are excellent liars. For example, they can often pass lie detector tests, since those tests register the effects of our internal feedback system, which they don’t have.

• A sociopath is likely to maintain a group of people who believe wholeheartedly that he is a good, kind, honest person. He’ll work in calculated ways to create and maintain that opinion in them.

From They Walk Among Us by Paul Rosenberg

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Psychopaths — Vengeful Beyond Measure

The cop wanted her car keys. Kelli Peters handed them over. She told herself she had nothing to fear, that all he’d find inside her PT Cruiser was beach sand, dog hair, maybe one of her daughter’s toys.

Now she watched as her ruin seemed to unfold before her…   Continue reading…

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Smart Scheming

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See also:

False Accusations
Kill the Messenger
DARVO—Role Reversal
ASPD Characteristics and Traits
Never Underestimate the Power of Manipulation

 

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Twisting of Meanings and Verbal Traps

“Twisting of meanings is a clue to psychopathy. They’re masters of doublespeak*, creating verbal traps and impossible situations that leave non-psychopaths bewildered.”   Harrison Koehli Red Pill Press, Publisher of Political Ponerology   *Doublespeak = Evasive, ambiguous language that is intended to deceive or confuse.

• Word Salad and Narc Speak (PsychopathResistance.com)
• Sociopaths twist words, manipulate, and deflect… (PsychopathResistance.com)
• 13 Examples of Narc Speak (thriveafterabuse.com)
• Guard Yourself Against Verbal Violence in Nursing (inanurseblog.wordpress.com)
• Sebastian Kügler: Standing up against verbal abuse (vizZzion.org)
• Stop it, You’re Hurting Me (h8my20s.wordpress.com)

Why are some people abusive?

See also:
Psychopaths: Nature or Nurture?
Don’t Reward Bad Behavior
Exposing An Abuser

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DARVO—Role Reversal

 

A strategy common to all abusers is called DARVO.

Deny the abuse, Attack the victim, and Reverse the roles of Victim and Offender.

This is roughly how it can be done (ad absurdum for emphasis):

	• You are stupid. •
	• Are you accusing me of being stupid!? •
	• You are accusing me of making accusations! •
	• …but what you said was rude and untrue. •
	• More accusations! And you are calling me a rude liar! You are hostile and name calling. Leave me alone. •
	• Why did you call me ‘stupid’? •
	• You are harassing me. •
	• I want an explanation. Was it something I said that sounded stupid? •
	• I told you to leave me alone! Stop harassing me! Look, everyone, I am being victimized by that evil person for no reason! •

At this point, the aggressor, the one who instigated the conflict and made all of the assaults, may threaten his victim into submission or use the ‘silent treatment’ (also called ‘stonewalling’) until the victim gives up trying to hold the abuser accountable. He will characterize his victim as the offender and himself as the victim as he complains about the “harassment” he is being subjected to—without telling the whole story, of course. He may tell other people that the victim is menacing, irrational, or mentally unstable to start rumors that support his egocentric version of the situation, strengthen his credibility, and damage his victim’s reputation. He may use deceptive tactics, such as pretending to be hurt or worried and fabricate disinformation to manipulate other people to side with him, isolate his victim, and maximize the harm. If successful, the abuser gains sympathy and support while his victim is disgraced and may face social rejection. The abuser escapes accountability and, lacking empathy and remorse, is gratified by “winning” his power trip while his victim gets blamed and shamed and may suffer immensely from long lasting irreversible damage to his reputation, self esteem, and relations.

Do you recognize this scenario?
Please leave a comment and share your story!

Related articles

•

• Denial and DARVO (SalemWitchHunt.wordpress.com)
• DARVO (changingminds.org)
• Narcissistic Personality Disorder (PsychopathResistance.com)
• Narcissists Provoke People,
  Then Blame Them
  (SalemWitchHunt.wordpress.com)
• Baiting & Bashing (PsychopathResistance.com)
• Stonewalling or The Silent Treatment (SalemWitchHunt.wordpress.com)
• The 5 Senses of Abuse (larkkirkwood.wordpress.com)
• Being Manipulated By A Pro … The Narcissist (nakiafleming.wordpress.com)

Cold and Callous

Steve Becker, LCSW: “You don’t have to be a sociopath to stonewall. Plenty of non-sociopaths stonewall. But many sociopaths are stonewallers, and the act of stonewalling itself contains the cold, callous attitude of the sociopath.”

Read more about stonewalling or the silent treatment.

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• • •

The Authoritarian Personality

Research shows that authoritarians are far more likely to exhibit sloppy reasoning, highly compartmentalized beliefs, double standards, hypocrisy, self-blindness, a profound ethnocentrism, and—to top it all off—a ferocious dogmatism that makes it unlikely anyone could ever change their minds with evidence or logic. Authoritarian, sociopathic, and narcissistic personality traits have many similarities.

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Why Are Toxic People Cruel?

A Game of Destroying People
The Sociopath’s Game
Playing Games to Hurt and Incriminate
Why Would Anyone Want to Control You?

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Impression Management Tactics

See also:

Manipulation Tactics

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The Psychopathic Child

From No Psychos, No Druggies, No Stooges:

Can You Call a 9-Year-Old a Psychopath?

Michael’s problems started, according to his mother, around age 3, shortly after his brother Allan was born. At the time, she said, Michael was mostly just acting “like a brat,” but his behavior soon escalated to throwing tantrums during which he would scream and shriek inconsolably. These weren’t ordinary toddler’s fits. “It wasn’t, ‘I’m tired’ or ‘I’m frustrated’ — the normal things kids do,” Anne remembered. “His behavior was really out there. And it would happen for hours and hours each day, no matter what we did.” For several years, Michael screamed every time his parents told him to put on his shoes or perform other ordinary tasks, like retrieving one of his toys from the living room. “Going somewhere, staying somewhere — anything would set him off,” Miguel said. These furies lasted well beyond toddlerhood. At 8, Michael would still fly into a rage when Anne or Miguel tried to get him ready for school, punching the wall and kicking holes in the door. Left unwatched, he would cut up his trousers with scissors or methodically pull his hair out. He would also vent his anger by slamming the toilet seat down again and again until it broke.

When Anne and Miguel first took Michael to see a therapist, he was given a diagnosis of “firstborn syndrome”: acting out because he resented his new sibling. While both parents acknowledged that Michael was deeply hostile to the new baby, sibling rivalry didn’t seem sufficient to explain his consistently extreme behavior.

By the time he turned 5, Michael had developed an uncanny ability to switch from full-blown anger to moments of pure rationality or calculated charm — a facility that Anne describes as deeply unsettling. “You never know when you’re going to see a proper emotion,” she said. She recalled one argument, over a homework assignment, when Michael shrieked and wept as she tried to reason with him. “I said: ‘Michael, remember the brainstorming we did yesterday? All you have to do is take your thoughts from that and turn them into sentences, and you’re done!’ He’s still screaming bloody murder, so I say, ‘Michael, I thought we brainstormed so we could avoid all this drama today.’ He stopped dead, in the middle of the screaming, turned to me and said in this flat, adult voice, ‘Well, you didn’t think that through very clearly then, did you?’ ”

Continue reading: Can You Call a 9-Year-Old a Psychopath?
No Psychos, No Druggies, No Stooges.

See also: How can I reach a child who’s a Sociopath?

How evil are you?

Artwork: Adam Proctor

From BBC Future, 3 December 2015
By David Robson

Do you have a ruthless streak? Psychologists believe the “dark triad” of personality—Machiavellianism, narcissism and psychopathy—might help you succeed in life. To measure your own dark side, click on the link below and choose how much you agree or disagree with 9 simple statements—and we’ll tell you how dastardly you actually are.

The questions for this quiz were inspired by questionnaires developed by Delroy Paulhus and Daniel Jones (Assessment, vol 21, p 28). Our quiz was designed solely for entertainment, and the results should not be considered a scientific measure of your personality. If you would like to learn more about Paulhus’s personality research and his serious explorations of the dark triad, read the BBC profile “The man who studies everyday evil”.

BBC – Future – How dark is your personality?

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The Dark Triad

 

The Dark Triad The dark triad is a group of three personality traits: Narcissism, Machiavellianism, and Psychopathy. Use of the term “dark” implies that these traits have malevolent qualities: Narcissism is characterized by grandiosity, pride, egotism, and a lack of empathy. Machiavellianism is characterized by manipulation and exploitation of others, a cynical disregard for morality, and a focus on self-interest and deception. Psychopathy is characterized by enduring antisocial behavior, impulsivity, selfishness, callousness, and remorselessness. All three traits have been associated with a callous-manipulative interpersonal style. A factor analysis carried out at the Glasgow Caledonian University found that among the big five personality traits, low agreeableness is the strongest correlate of the dark triad.

Dark triad – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

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Toxic People: 16 Practical, Powerful Ways to Deal With Them

Posted July 6, 2015 by Karen Young at Hey Sigmund:

Even if toxic people came with a warning tattooed on their skin, they might still be difficult to avoid. We can always decide who we allow close to us but it’s not always that easy to cut out the toxics from other parts of our lives. They might be colleagues, bosses, in-laws, step-someones, family, co-parents … and the list goes on.

We live our lives in groups and unless we’re willing to go it alone – work alone, live alone, be alone (which is sometimes tempting, but comes with its own costs) – we’re going to cross paths with those we would rather cross out.

Continue reading the article for some powerful, practical ways to ease co-existence with toxics:

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Types of Flying Monkeys

See also:

• Flying Monkeys
• Once a flying monkey, always a flying monkey…
• Sociopaths Recruit Minions
• Don’t be a minion

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Anti-Social Personality Disorder

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The Corporate Psychopath: Workplace Bullying

“Often these monstrous individuals are initially charming, displaying false empathy to the point that even when their victims instinct senses danger they ignore this feeling as irrational. These people have a natural talent for manipulation and are self-absorbed individuals with no conscience or feeling for others and for whom rules have no meaning. These depraved manipulators can appear unstoppable. Their non physical violence against innocent victims appears to be planned, purposeful and emotionless. Any attempt at reason will fail as these people appear to operate outside the code that governs normal, rational behaviour towards others.”

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Read the article: The Corporate Psychopath: Workplace bullying | What’s it all about anyway?

See also:

• Fighting the Workplace Bully
• Why Workplace Bullies Thrive: The Bystander Effect
  
• Denying, Discounting, and Dismissing Abuse
• When the Boss is a Psychopath
• $460 Billion Per Year—The Cost of Psychopathy

Everything happens for a reason…

Don’t beat yourself up trying to figure out what you did wrong or what you should have done differently. Abusers target good people. Sometimes, it’s really that simple.

See also:
Empaths are Targets
The Sociopath-Empath-Apath Triad
The Relationship Between Empaths and Narcissists

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Psychopath Free—Now Available!

Psychopath Free
(Expanded Edition)
Recovering from Emotionally Abusive Relationships With Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Other Toxic People
by Jackson MacKenzie

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2 Reviews

Paperback $9.75, NOOK Book $9.99

View All Available Formats & Editions

Have you ever been in a relationship with a psychopath? Chances are, even if you did, you would never know it.

Psychopaths are cunning charmers and master manipulators, to the point where you start to accept the most extreme behaviors as normal…

Even if it hurts you.

More info:

Psychopath Free (Expanded Edition): Recovering from Emotionally Abusive Relationships With Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Other Toxic People by Jackson MacKenzie | 9780425279991 | Paperback | Barnes & Noble

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A Fox in the Henhouse

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Individuals with psychopathic traits are often attracted to affinity groups—religious, atheist, political, or social groups of people who share common values, beliefs, or interests. The collective trust that members of these groups have in one another and their common belief system provides a perfect cover for the psychopathic person. A psychopathic individual can be highly skilled at accurately mimicking the group’s beliefs or values while in the presence of its members. As a result, trust is easily gained and his or her true motives or covert activities are less likely to be discovered or recognized as malicious.

An affinity group that has been victimized may have members who are unable to face the truth about a covert bully. Often, they will rationalize his or her behaviors and continue to believe that the person is basically good at heart.

Unfortunately, it is common for the group to side with the psychopathic person if he or she has targeted an individual member to exploit, abuse, or ostracize. With a well established virtuous public persona and respect from the group, skillful manipulation and deceit, and a careful choice of target, the aggressor will turn the tables and have others believe the victim is the guilty party.

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Aftermath: Surviving Psychopathy Foundation

A NON-PROFIT ORGANIZATION PROVIDING INFORMATION
AND SUPPORT FOR VICTIMS OF PSYCHOPATHY

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You could be a psychopath if you don’t yawn.

By ANTHONY JOSEPH for MAILONLINE
PUBLISHED: 11:55 EST, 15 August 2015 | UPDATED: 13:38 EST, 15 August 2015

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Want to see if someone is a psychopath or not? Try yawning at them. If they yawn back, you’re okay and proceed to befriending them if you wish. If they don’t, perhaps steer clear—they could be distinctly anti-social.

Scientists reveal that people with low empathy levels don’t copy the gestures of others. 

• Scientists have found that the more psychopathic characteristics people have, the less they are affected by ‘contagious yawning’
• Researchers from Baylor University tested 135 students for anti-social traits
• Those who scored highly on ‘cold-heartedness’ were less likely to yawn when shown video clips of facial expressions

Most people will yawn if someone around them yawns. Normal mammals are said to be unable to resist ‘contagious yawning.’

US President Barack Obama yawns during the East Asia
Summit plenary session in Phnom Penh, Cambodia in 2012

The researchers from Baylor University in Texas published their findings in the journal Personality and Individual Differences.

Read more: Psychopaths don’t yawn study

See also:

• The Psychopath’s Sleep of Death
  
• Physorg: Psychopaths’ brains
• Lack of Empathy

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Don’t be duped.

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See also: Denying, Discounting, and Dismissing Abuse

Dr. Sam Vaknin explains: “Even the victim’s relatives, friends, and colleagues are amenable to the considerable charm, persuasiveness, and manipulativeness of the abuser and to his impressive thespian skills.”

“In contrast, the victims are often on the verge of a nervous breakdown: harassed, unkempt, irritable, impatient, abrasive, and hysterical.”

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Naive Prey Response Syndrome

“Everyone is told the fairytale that we are all brothers and sisters under the skin.  But what if that is not so?”

Read: Naive Prey Response Syndrome | The Path Whisperer

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The Predatory Aggressive Personality

 

By Dr George Simon, PhD

Predatory Aggressive Personalities (i.e., psychopaths or sociopaths) consider themselves superior to the rest of the human race. They view individuals with inhibitions rooted in emotional bonding to others as inferior creatures and, therefore, their rightful prey.

Aggressive Personalities include the Unbridled Aggressive, who is frequently in conflict with the law; the Channeled-Aggressive, who generally limits ruthlessness to non-criminal activity; the Covert-Aggressive, who cloaks their cruelty under a veneer of civility and manipulates others in the process; and the Sadistic Aggressive, whose principal aim is to demean and injure others.

But by far the most pathological aggressive personality is the one I prefer to label the Predatory Aggressive Personality. All of the aggressive personalities are among the most seriously disturbed in character of the various personality types, and the Predatory Aggressive Personality is the most seriously character disordered.

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Read Dr Simon’s article:
Understanding the Predatory Aggressive Personality.

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Free Candy

via ‘How to Spot a Pro-Social Psychopath’ – the psychopath’s response | No Psychos, No Druggies, No Stooges.

“If you ignore everything you were told when you were 4 and trust a complete stranger with your money, your belongings, or your life just because they have a nice smile and lots of candy in their van, you’re a sucker and you deserve everything that’s coming to you.” Click to read a psychopath’s entertaining take on the description of his pathology.

How to Spot a Sociopath: 11 Traits

Sociopaths are manipulative, and some are dangerous. If you know someone with several of the following attributes, your best bet is to stay away from them.

 1  Superficial Charm

 2  Narcissistic

 3  Pathological Lying

 4  Manipulative and Cunning

 5  Shallow Emotions

 6  Lack of Remorse, Shame, Or Guilt

 7  Incapable of Human Attachment

 8  Constant Need for Stimulation

 9  Lack of Empathy

10  Poor Behavioral Controls / Impulsive Nature

11  Promiscuous Sexual Behavior / Infidelity

If you have a sociopath in your life, especially in a romantic relationship, you are going to suffer. Avoid these people. Don’t be fooled by their charms—it is just an act to get what they want. Sociopaths are extremely cold-hearted. The only person they care about is themselves. They see all other people only in terms of usefulness and as potential targets.

via How to Spot a Sociopath: 11 Signs & Traits of A Sociopath.

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Uncanny Sociopathic Abilities

Are you my next target?

by James “Are you lonely, popular, caring, confident, laid back, anxious, adventurous, bored, traumatised, naïve, competitive, depressed, sentimental, accepting, argumentative, compassionate, impulsive or shy?” “If so, then boy have I got just the trick for you! Get your very own custom-made psychopath experience, with guaranteed success rate, for one of us at least. Order now, and get free emotional trauma to take with you when we’re done. While stocks last.” If there is one question all victims of psychopaths have asked themselves at some point in the period after their psychopath has moved on, it has to be “why me?” Or more specifically; “what was it that made me a target?”  Read more…

Kill the messenger

Rosa says: Isn’t it amazing how sociopaths can run around smearing people, telling insidious lies with impunity…THEN…when WE try to warn others (with the TRUTH) about possible danger of the socio, it’s “Kill the Messenger” time…and we are the “Messenger”. What’s up with that?

*   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *

Dear Rosa,

What you are describing is the standard abuser protocol called DARVO, an acronym for Deny, Attack, Reverse roles of Victim and Offender.  Your question and your righteous outrage are about psycho/sociopaths’ ability to harm others easily and repeatedly—with impunity—sometimes with devastating consequences for their victim. As if that wasn’t bad enough, the victim’s friends and family may withhold support or reject him/her at the worst of times because the abuser had the evil foresight to secure their sympathy and support, and at the same time, destroy the victim’s reputation and credibility.

The reason why pathological aggressors are so successful with this cunning scheme is quite simple: they are exceptionally skilled actors with a lifetime of practice in lying, manipulating, persuading, and deceiving. The psycho/sociopath will callously aim to crush his victim, unperturbed by any ethical concerns. The victim’s moral standards will limit his options, and lacking the persuasive powers of a psychopath, he may fail to convince others of the truth of the matter.

Another reason why many of us are conned again and again is because we cannot fathom that a friendly, intelligent, respectable person to whom we may have extended exceptional kindness, trust, and generosity; would be capable of acting so atrociously. It is incomprehensible to most of us that there really are human beings who don’t have a conscience and we fail to see the patterns in our experiences that verify the ‘unpleasant’ facts that challenge or contradict our long held beliefs.

Read about Denial and

 

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“Psychopathy is our number one public health risk.”

Published on Apr 28, 2014

Sandra L. Brown, M.A., is the founder of The Institute for Relational Harm Reduction & Public Pathology Education. She is a former psychotherapist, community educator on pathological love relationships, clinical lecturer and trainer, TV and radio guest, and an author. Her books include the highly popular How to Spot a Dangerous Man Before You Get Involved, the award winning Women Who Love Psychopaths: Inside the Relationships of Inevitable Harm With Psychopaths, Sociopaths & Narcissists, as well as the clinically relevant Counseling Victims of Violence: A Handbook for Helping Professionals. 

Sandra is recognized for her pioneering work in women’s issues related to relational harm from dangerous and pathological partners. She specializes in the development of Pathological Love Relationship training for other professionals and the development of survivor-based support services. 

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